Orchard'sJourney

Well, now, what is this?

2008-07-19T12:02:00.002-04:00

So it has come to the attention of this young girl that an item has HIT THE WORLD RUNNING, so to speak, with the speed and caress of a nice lollipop, but also the flair and creativity of my dog, Igor the Blog. And that said item is something called the

FIT FLOP

Which is why they call them "flip flops" because they are for the fitting. But it seems that 2000 arrived in the UK and they sold out in 1 hour and this woman is talking about them who seems to be American, but seems to have an old English accent hidden underneath, or perhaps a new pseudo-like-English accent trying to come out, like Madonna, who is a singer of "pop radio news."

So while this little Orchard has a summer of fun planned--from ice skating on the porch of air conditioning, to climbing the mount of evernesting, to singing "wee, wee, where is my lee--dul birdie?", this is one thing perhaps this Orchy as I shall try. Have you tried?

Well, lookie here at some interesting tunes...

2008-03-14T13:20:00.005-04:00

You might be wondering what I've been up to lately. Well, besides Igor the Blog, my fish-friends, creating a surfboard that also has remote control as well as various other features called "fun facts", I have been following the chick-core rap band, Girl Crusade. And you won't believe it, but it's just the one of the things that is like girls, but maybe not entirely but pretty much. So you can go to the website for yourself, but here is also the video that I explored on a website called Youtube which even has pygmy goats running around in offices. So enjoy!
love always, orchie

Well, do we have a fair system of selecting jurors or not?

2007-01-13T00:04:00.000-05:00

Well, my blog friend, Dreamwalker who lives in New Zealand, posted a bit ago how she had to attend a possible session of maybe using her as a juror for a trial that is part of the country and it got me to thinking. Well, I do not know if she were chosen, but it is good that they are hoping for a smart young educated woman with a conscience, because often in the US of A, they choose many people who do not care, but rather, just want to leave, or rather, are stubborn and hold up the process. and say things like, "Two million dollars. That's it. Two million dollars" when it doesn't even make sense.

Or even rather do not speak English, but might speak Spanish or Chinese only, and yet they are jurors in NYC and they cannot understand anything the people are saying and they are not given translators. And it rather makes for a silly sort of process if the person must judge based on appearances only, and this assumes the non-english speaking person can see, but there are people who are blind also on the jury, so if one were blind and could not speak English, well, then one could only go on smell and tone of voice, I suppose, and that seems a bit limiting to decide a person's fate based on smell and such.

Love always,
orch

Well, so it seems this is today.

2007-01-07T21:33:00.000-05:00

I have to admit, that it has been since the time when we were in summer that last I blogged and it seems there is such a thing as "old blogger" and "new blogger" now. Of course, this does not mean one blogger is hip and one is out of date, but rather, rests on the notion that one version of the software known as blogger or what appears as blogspot, but actually, I'm just looking above and its seems it does not appear as blogspot, but rather blogger now, is an old version and one is a new one which has to do with google, but really both are run by google anyway.

But really, my point is to share with you a mystery that is unfolding in front of my very eyes. It seems just the other day when it was December 25, 2006, it was Christmas Day. I prayed and read of Jesus's birth in the book of Luke, and then I heard a 'tap tappety tap' on the window of the place where I reside. Well, I put the Bible down and flew right to the window and tore it open with a whoosh. And what did I see with my wondering eyes? Well, a little myster left for me in a brown paper bag.

Well, the bag contained a small "gift" of sorts that resembled a bar of ivory soap but was not quite that. Well, I thanked the open air because I figured the giver must not be far off, and it is always a nice thing to receive soap because really, where would we be without it?

I thought nothing of it, as Christmas is a time of mysteries and love and giving. But then today, as I was making a new masterpiece out of 2 pieces of paper, a straw, some glue and some of my dear Igor the Blog's fur, I heard another 'tap tappety tap tap' and then also 'tap tap.' Well, as you might expect, I tore to my window and through it up in a flash and there below was another brown bag.

I ran to it and opened it and saw inside a little tiny elephant figurine that was made out of seashells. My eye started to tear up as I recalled my ocean plan from my past which has made me who I am today. And I thought to myself, "This is quite unusual to receive a gift on a day such as this." But after I snooped around and could not find a soul, I went back to my residence and noticed Igor the Blog was licking my brand new calendar of "Puppies of the 19th Century." Well, he always has had a smart streak to him, and sure enough, I noticed he was licking today the most. And it made mention of the fact that it is such a time as Orthodox Christmas or King's Day or other such date so as to imply another day of giving and love is upon us.

And while I still do not know the giver, I am going to make it my mission to find out this solitary individual and thank him with a chocolate chip cookie cake with melted chocolate chips on top, unless he or she is diebetic or really just sensitive to a lot of sugar, because it sure is sweet.

love always and forever and forever and a day,
your Orchy

well, it is now Google's time to shine along with a very greedy mouse

2006-09-14T15:14:00.000-04:00

Well, some of you may or may not have noticed my adorable little ad that I have allowed Google Adsense to put forth on my blog site. Well, it took a lot of consideration on my part to procure such an advancement in life and bloggos, but it seemed Google just really wanted my service and when a girl like I can make the colors pink and hope for cute halloween pictures, how can she let a thing like Google done? Even though I really just want to type "good" every time I start to type "google." But that just goes to show you that even our fingers have developed a routine in life, and it is hard to deviate them from that norm of regular sameness.

So I do hope you'll admire my blog ad as much as I do, even though I really wanted the cutest little ads to the right of my blog that had pictures on them and all in a line, but apparently, that would squash my actual writing part of my blog which is not for blogs. I simply cannot wait until it starts putting up ads that reflect the content of my blog, because there really are so many interesting things that I can say in my blog that might have cute ads!

Like this content:

A mouse has come to live in my place of residence with me and Igor the Blog. Well, I have not exactly seen this said mouse, but I have seen that he has shredded through a plastic bag then a wrapper which housed reeces peanut butter cups and milkyway bars because, after all, Halloween is coming up. Well, he shredded through, all right, and then touch some bites and scrapes out of the candy and then left nothing but a few poops that are rather like round chocolate sprinkes. Now, I am not one to be a particular kind of girl, but I certainly cannot give all my adorable little trick-or-treaters candy that a mouse has rejected, or accepted.

So now I shall have to throw these out and somehow find a way to deal with a creature, called a mouse. And for now, I shall call the mouse:

Bork

And the name of Bork shall be what I refer to as "the mouse which resides in my place of residence and eats reeces peanut butter cups", when I really just didn't know that, after all, Bork has a sweet-tooth.

love forever,
and when the forever has ended, then forever more,
and when the forever more has ended,
well, then another more and more and more
until all the love of me has been given out and nothing remains but Bork.

Orch

Just one little saying about life where I'm at

2006-07-23T22:27:00.000-04:00

Well, I really realized that even making up an expression or two now and then, like I did in day 80, is not such a thing that is bad. And therefore, as I had the experience of being in a tele-vehicle on a highway today that is known as "Route 287", this is the expression that you may all welcome into your books of sayings, much as you did Day 80, back when I was counting days of blogger-life:

"Whilst things may come and go as a car races past the horns, once one hits a deer, that is the time when racing must come to an end, and one must always make the choice if one wishes to end the racing by oneself, OR by a deer--unless one does not have the choice, like when a deer comes out of nowhere, and then really all one can do is one's best, and isn't that just the way."

And you are also welcome to read that quote again and make it become a song like a campfire round.

And now I shall just go on about my evening as it is that time of night again.

Love,
always and forever,
near and far,
close and together,
every day, I will be with you,
every thing, I will do for you,
if I can and the deer does not stop me,

Orch

Dust mites teach even me a lesson

2006-07-19T21:38:00.000-04:00

Well, the summer has been coming and going like a lightning bolt that has struck down a tree that has fallen in the midst of a summer storm. And that is the way of the hot weather here in the great ole state of New York.

And so, I have decided to tell a little anecdote about my lovely dog that is called Igor the Blog. I tell this in special secret-ness, although it is public as well, to my loyal friend, Dreamwalker, whom I feel is just always the sweetest and sticks with me through thick and thin.

Well, the tale of Igor the Blog as of late is this:

Igor the Blog has taken to eating up bits of dust mites that live under the couch where they have formed a community of democracy, that is more imagined than real in actual life. Well, Igor has coughed one too many times from this new hobby of his, so I said to him just this morning, "Igor the Blog, you must no longer eat the dust mites of the couch!"

Well, Igor looked at me with such a face that seemed to say, "But it is just what I want to be doing." And I really think it was what he wanted to be doing, because it's what he decided to do again, even after I told him he ought not to.

And it has taught me a simple lesson of life that all must learn at one point or another:

"One may tell another what to do for that other's good, but that other will not actually do it unless that other wants to, or is scared of you, or trusts that you are right, or has enough will power to stop."

And I also have decided that I would like to grow sugar cane in my residence, even though I have yet to explore how I ought to go about doing that, because my tomatoes have simply died at this point in life, but I did eat quite a few, as did Igor the Blog, as well.

And that is my little update which includes small tidbits of life.

love always and forever, near and far, close and together,

orchy

Not just any ole bug, no, but a special situation

2006-04-18T20:38:00.000-04:00

Well, when a girl such as I has one of the most intriguing of experiences, she can hardly keep it a secret from her best friend bloggers, even though she does not blog as much as she really ought to. And that experience is the following of late:

Why, just today, I was harvesting my tomato plants in "round 1" of my plant lines, as round 2 and round 3 were planted at different times of year and so on and so forth. Now then, as I was harvesting one large juicey plan that I have decided to call a "cherry tomato" as it looks like a cherry but is a tomato, well, I harvested it up and decided to give it a toss to my adorable growing pup, Igor the Blog.

Well, Igor has grown to find the value in tomatoes, even though at first Igor did not quite want to eat them, and so when I tossed it, Igor the Blog dove right at it and popped it up on his snout. The tomato did not get much height in its flight, but just enough so that when it landed, it gave off a tiny "poof." And wouldn't you know, it split open and there inside the tomato pod, lay just the cutest little bug that is not like any bug I have ever seen in my life that is entire.

The bug that I witnessed that is not the bug in the link that is there when you click on bug (but that I found online which was quite a coincidence because there it is a delicacy to eat such things, which I shall not) I shall now describe as the following because I really just don't have a digital camera to do my dirty work:
-short and squat
-rolly polly
-cute and fuzzy
-big eyed, long thin legs
-just the cutest little smirk
-colors of potato teal, velvet purple, ionizing red and mediocre blue

Well, that is about all I can say about the bug, but it really just made me think about life and about how really if a bug can survive in a tomato pod, and actually then come out looking quite interesting and unusual, then perhaps we can survive in situations that really are not what we thought we could? And that does seem to be the way in many situations, and really, I do welcome in the time of Spring.

love always,
orchy

Well, it is still I

2006-04-02T15:52:00.000-04:00

Well, I have discovered that as of late it has been the case that some of you do believe that the Orchard that is I has gone on and left my fellow blogger best friends. But I am here to tell you that is really not the case at all, and I shall always hold my blogger friends dear, because they are the friends that have stood by me through thick and thin and always will.

And it has happenstanced that my new career of farming tomatoes and cotton has taken up much more time that a girl like I ever would have dreamed possible. Because growing tomatoes in the winter of times and always cotton in just a few pots here and there is not what people always dream it will be even though it is indoors. But this has been the case, and I only must apologize that it has kept me from my best friend bloggers.

So this is just a quick note to let you know I do care for you all, and hopefully Dreamwalker's and Michael's post comments will jumpstart my bloggerlife again, because it really has always been the highlight.

love always,
orchard p dirk

The year of the 2006 and the first man that has caught my eye in this year that might be no better than the lean cuisine which is quick

2006-01-26T20:53:00.000-05:00

Well, it has come to pass to become the year of 2006, in which adventures are a plenty. For instance, a simple trip to the grocery store turned out to be rather something else that was not quite an adventure, but more of a realization and one that is set to be more of a standard or resolution for myself.

I was standing in the aisle of the "frozen food" section which includes such delights as the Lean Cuisine of Turkey and Mashed Potatoes, and I came to realize my nose became quite cold as I opened up the door and stared on in. There was a man standing near me who was loading up the frozen foods into the shelves, and he appeared to be one of the men who's job it was to load frozen foods to the shelves. And so I felt he would understand more than any other person I could imagine of in the whole universe, including bloggers. So I said in my innocent voice of love, "Have you noticed how my nose gets cold when I open the door and peer my head on inside?"

Well, he said he had not noticed and why the h*ll would he, and then he said that sometimes it is warmer if one closes the door and looks and then decides, then opens the door. But I pointed out that once I had opened the door, as I always did to grab some atrocity or other, that when I closed it back up, it would get all steamed up, and then I simply could not see inside anymore, so then I would have to open it. He found that quite a cycle, and I said that he was observant, but that life is really rather like that from time to time. And it happens to be the case that sometimes when one opens the door to grab something in haste, it just makes it that much harder to grab other things with thought, and even might make your nose cold.

I then decided to apply that theory to the man in the store, as I really am quite a scientist of life, and so I just took the bull by the horns, so the speak, and asked him if he would just go ahead and marry me, even though I knew it would make it harder to see others after that might happen. Well, he wore a crooked smile on his face, and before he could respond, I tended to start to see the future of how there were plenty o' men in the sea, but that the fog that surrounded my hasty man just went on and ruined everything else in life, and it really made me decide that even though this man wanted to marry me, a girl like I just really ought to not take the first meal she finds, and really ought to hold out for the one that makes her heart skip just a beat a little now and then like the man from the Shell Station.

And so that is why I have come to the place of being alone once again, and even though I have given up quite a fine specimin of a frozen food deliverer and stocker, I feel that it is what a girl like I just ought to do.

And I have to just admit that I am going to just go on ahead and post this blog like it is, even if that means not going back to put in the nice links to illustrate my point, but maybe I will change the color, because if a girl can't find a little color in life, what can she, when really 2006 is the year of many colors.

Love always,

Orch

Merry Christmas that is this day

2005-12-25T22:56:00.000-05:00

The Orchard that is I wishes you all a Merry Christmas and remembers this is the day we celebrate that Jesus Christ was born for which we remember in a manger scene with wisemen and shepards with sheep thrown about their necks. And so I do wish and pray for a blessed new year with much less disaster than the year of 2005, and with also a touch of other amenities of goodness like love and new blogger friends as well as earth friends, and the gentle whine of a pup that is Igor the Blog, and so I shall sign off now before it becomes the day after Christmas which is Boxing Day...

Love,
orchy!!

Well, it's just about time I just tell you what the deal is with this halloween

2005-10-30T21:48:00.000-05:00

Well, it is the day of H a l l o w e e n, and a best friend blogger, Aswin, who is from a country that is India, but now has joined the US of A to work and reside for now, wondered what the situation was with this day of Halloween. And so I answered his question and now will allow others to also see the answer to the question in case it has been perplexing anyone else of this world. And so I shall tell you how the theory of Halloween came to be according to my sources of good knowledge:

Halloween was created for everyone to remember the saints that died before us, on All Saints Day. But then people started getting scared that the deceased saints would come back and haunt them like ghosts the night after All Saint's Day. So then they started wearing sheets over their heads to pretend they were ghosts in the hopes of making the deceased feel there was no need for them to bother anyone since there were already ghosts around.

Well, soon, it became the case that the saints were catching on to this trick and so the people then had to resort to dressing up like other things, such as tigers and pickled eggs and such. When this, as well, had no effect on the possible deceased, they began leaving candy by the doorsteps to sweeten up the deceased's mouths.

Well, this worked so well that the deceased supposedly loved the candy, and when there was no candy (a "treat"), they would get upset and put toilet paper on the house or treet (a "trick).

Somewhere after that, so the legend goes, things got mixed up and then the people in costumes started going to doorsteps to ask for candy and that really is how a lot of things wind up being changed from the original, when really the original might not have had merit in the first place anyhow.

So that is why, up until this very day, little children all the world over, those who still believe in the Tooth Fairy and such, dress upin their costumed finest in search of a treat.

love, orch

the value of the dollar of money cents in our system of cash for my Orchard's Journey

2005-10-30T17:31:00.000-05:00

Apparently this is what my blog is worth in dollar cents of the system of money:

My blog is worth $3,387.24.
How much is your blog worth?

When life presents itself as Halloween, why not just be Paris Hilton bowling to find your new best friend mate who is a Hornet?

2005-10-28T21:14:00.000-04:00

Well, I have always been taught in life to take advantage of how the world presents itself and make it just as helpful as possible. So I have noticed how in the US of A it is approaching the holiday which is called All Saints Day, or the day before is commonly referred to as "All Hallow's Eve" or "Halloween." Well, since I have been trying to locate my new best friend mate who is part of the Hornets Bowling League of Society and since life has presented this night of festivities, I have decided the only true way to find my new mate is to dress up as someone else in lieu of Halloween and then just do what I do best, and that really is just meeting people and finding best friends and mates, although it appears that none of mine in the past have "stuck," as they say, but they also say, "Well, there's always a first!"

And so now I really just wonder what my best friend bloggers who celebrate Halloween are wearing for their Hallow's Eve and I just need to figure out if I shall be a bowler for halloween or Paris Hilton.

Love always,
Orchy

Are groups just to keep others out and really, how do I fit into them all, esp when it's only Bowling group I want to observe so I can find my mate?

2005-10-26T17:03:00.000-04:00

Well, it seems that there are a lot of civilizations in this world which really preach the message of being special and in a group and not liking others to intrude upon said group to the point of that group being rather unpleasant to newcomers who may desire to join that group or maybe not, but maybe just watch that group bowl or some other such activity. Well, I had always had my suspicions that this might be the case, because I even remember, when I was a just a girl-child, an incident occurred which started making me suspicious.

The girlhood incident was just that a group of scientist children, near where I resided as a youngster, were gathering together to try to kill a fly and bring it back to life by sprinkling it with salt. Well, you can only imagine that a girl like I, who really is just trying to get educated in all the ways of life, might be interested in such an experiment. Well, I arrived to the circle the children scientists were huddled in and I started with a warm-up joke, as I was always told, "If you are joining a new group of people, you have 10 seconds to make them laugh, so use that 10 seconds wisely and make them laugh until they can laugh no more--and then you will always be in that group."

So I arrived and told my warm-up joke of, "Hey, if you think salt brings flies to life, let's kill Ricky and see if pepper brings him back to life." I laughed of course, so as to open the lines of communication, but it appeared my joke hit a sour note with them, especially Ricky, and they tossed a handful of salt at me and said, "Get away, Orchard!"

And so from then on, I have wondered if this would prove to be the case of life in groups.

And so it has come to pass that I have been trying to attend a session of the Hornets Bowling League, but the members of this civilization have been making a point to keep me out of their secretive meetings. I am not sure if this is because they are trying to prevent me from joining their group because they are like the children scientists, or if it is because they are worried that the man who caught my eye will end up leaving the League of Hornet Bowlers to become my mate and best friend. I do know how people can be protective and possessive of said party members, but really I have no intentions of asking him to leave the league in any case unless something occurs which changes my mind.

And so I really just need to figure out a way to penetrate the system and find myself in the bowling alley and see how things run from there, but what news! as it was snowing yesterday in some parts of new york state, but not where I live.

love,
orchard

When I met the Hornet at the alley of bowling who might just turn into my mate for life who may be my best friend too

2005-10-18T17:33:00.000-04:00

Well, one has said that if in one's life one is given sour grapes, to turn those grapes into lemonaide or Crystal-Lite or other such sweet beverages of choice, so as to have the tastiest drink in the world and proximity, and that really is all a girl can hope for these days when she goes out to the alley of bowling, and so that is what happened to me when I went out to that alley, why, just the other day.

It appeared that when I arrived to make my balls shoot down the wooden lane, there was something that the bowlers refer to as a "league of their own" occuring at the same time. Well, this was the situation, and I was thrilled to be considered part of this group and allow the events to unfold which might point me to a lifetime best friend mate. So I settled into a nice plastic rounded seat and grabbed a ball that was in a circular mechanical device attached by underground methods to the wooden lane. Well, a man came over to me, but I had already decided he was too grizzled to be my mate, yet I still appreciated his sense of urgency as he hurried toward me.

He began a sentence like, "That's my--", but I knew all too well he was going to tell me that it was his dream come true to be on a league. "I know--me too!" I exclaimed back, because it really can just waste too much time for a grizzled man to tell you something that you already know he's going to say in your head. So I said this, then gave the ball a nice spit and rubbed my sleeve on it so as to create a glimmer and shine. Well, this man, whose shirt said RUSTY on it seemed to quickly receive the polished ball from my hands and had a bit of a huff about his nature. But really, I harken back to the years when a carnival man told me, "Some people just do not want to share their dreams, and if you say you have the same dream, they will just try to grab that from you. Beware of such people--beware!"

Well, I am not one to question the words of a carnival man, especially when they present themselves too clearly to me in such a manner that really just makes sense. So I let RUSTY take the ball, because I knew to beware. And this is when things started to turn a bit grape sour, as apparently, the shirt I was wearing made them think that I was really not welcome into their league of their own. And so several people seemed to insinuate that it was time for me to leave and other such words that really a girl like I can only hear so much of before she has to hear a friendly song in her head like "I think I'll Go for a Walk Outside" by the Brady Family.

And so as I was making my way with the Leaguers out to the front door, I spotted the eye of a man about my age who was holding his ball in his hands and half-laughing toward me. Well, this was a vibe I was not willing to lose sight of, so I ran with great speed toward him, grabbed a pink ball and threw that ball way down his alley!

Well, this created quite a stir of excitement among RUSTY and his leaguers, as you can imagine, having witnessed this first sign of mate-possibilities. Well, my future mate just widened his eyes, which really is a biological sign that one is interested in one's mate, as one strives to take in more and more visuals. And then he smiled and laughed again and this is when I really had to make my way out of the alley of bowling and just sort of remain out of doors.

It is the case that the man with the smile was not one that I was able to see as I waited for the rest of the evening for him to depart. But I do know that he is on Team Hornets and that is really just quite a team to be on, as they are awful mean when they get wet, my Grandfather used to say, and now the doors are wide open.

Love,
Orchard

about others the world over

2005-10-15T11:58:00.000-04:00

Well, I just wanted to write one more post just to say that I am very sad for all of the trouble that has been happening in the world, and whilst I do not tend to write a lot about it, for it makes me quite sad, my heart is with those who have suffered all the world over, and I really just pray that good days will come amidst all the disaster of the world, and I hope those in need know that others, even across the world, feel this way for them.
love,
Orchard P. Dirk

Bowling and best friend bloggers

2005-10-15T11:53:00.000-04:00

Well, it is a Saturday and I have decided that if no one on Friendster wants to be my friend at the moment except the welcome bunny, then perhaps I shall go into the adventures of the real world, as that has tended to be the place where I have had adventures in the past.

So today, I will go to the alley of bowling and throw a few balls around and maybe Igor the Blog will even be better than I am, because they really do say that dogs can bowl like no one else in this world, and I must also give a very BIG THANKS to the best friend blogger Dreamwalker because she saw my frustration and consternation of the disguised blog-music-download-spammers and suggested a "word verification" feature which is really just the nicest thing Blogger.com has done for me today, and I have installed this and am so happy not to have the 'bots telling me to visit their sites of advertisements, so Dreamwalker, I thank you from my orchard-heart.

I will bowl a 4 for you all, my best friend bloggers! And when I meet my new mate that I have not seen yet at the bowling alley today I will tell him that I just have the best best friend bloggers.

Love,
orchy

2005-10-12T13:43:00.000-04:00

Well, I do always try to be nice and friendly, as one can never really tell where one's new best friend might come from, but I have to say that I really am not happy with people putting penis enlargment items on my blog and other people who keep telling me to view their sites about google ad sens and hot dogs and other such material that is really just not clear why it is on my site. So I am feeling now that these bloggers are only using me and I am feeling a bit sad, and perhaps this is because I was up all night with my puppy, Igor the Blog, but perhaps it is because I am feeling these people are cluttering me up and really just not my true best friend bloggers. And this Orchard just really doesn't know what to do.
love,
or

True Friends or foes?

2005-10-10T10:29:00.000-04:00

Well, I am making my Friendster rounds, but so far, it does appear no one on the friendster loop has decided to email the girl that I am about becoming my mate or best friend friendster. But I really just need to take a moment out of my blog life history to ask my bloggers a question that I hope they shall understand and take with the amount of sensitivity that I hope to invest in said question.

And that question is this:

It appears to have come to light that some bloggers are posting a sweet comment on my site about how my site is great, and then they say such things as, "check out my german food site" or "My site is in a bit different area, but just as useful. I have a mens male enhancement reviews related site focusing on mens male enhancement reviews and mens health related topics." It also is a fact that when I click on the site they refer me to, it seems to be some sort of advertisement, and when I click on the name of my special new person that I am hoping is a real blogger friend, it is just a blank profile or one that says nothing at all.

And it really makes me think that I might be a blog-victim of disguised blog-spammers. Because really I am always up for supporting my blogger friends' sites, but when it is an adverstiment for downloading music or male enhancement, I just tend to wonder what kind of friend they really are.

And if you are one of these blogger friends who leaves me advertisement links, and you really are a true friend to me, then please just let me know and don't be insulted by my questioning. It just happenstances that you write in a different generic way than the rest of my best friend bloggers do, and that really is my question of the day, except one more that is, "Does this ever happen to anyone else, and if it does, what do you do about it? Embrace it? Delete it? Have a nice time? Feel sad inside?" What?

Love,
Orch

Day 5: well, myspace was not so inviting, but friendster is like blogster, even though it is blogger without the "ST" but it should be "Blogster"

2005-10-03T22:09:00.000-04:00

Well, I'm just about pooped because I have been trying to set up an account on"line" that will help me find a mate, and I was told by a blogger that if I am not Jewish, then Jdate is not for me, so I suppose that I have been pushed away from that option as I do not have the ability to become Jewish for Jdate when I am not really up for converting my religion, but that is just the way that things tend to occur, and really there are probably reasons beyond my control.

But before I went to get some "shut eye" and allow the sandman to do his little tricks of sleep potion ability with the tooth fairy friend, even though P. Diddy's Making of the Band Girls Part 2 is now coming up again with new gals to rival the old, I wanted to tell you that I have started my new adventure and signed up on what is called, "Friendster.com." which apparently one can join from any country in the whole wide world. I thought that myspace.com might offer refreshments or other services including mate-finding, but apparently they think that I am under the age of 14 for some reason, even though I told them I was not, so they immediately terminated the little account I was just starting.

I was quite hurt at this moment, as I really just felt like they were not even giving me a chance to explain that this was not the case, and that really, I just didn't choose a year the first time, and then I tried to, but it was just not up for making them give me a second chance. And it just goes to show that sometimes you are not offered that second chance and you really just need to switch to another avenue of life like Friendster, who did not doubt that I was over the age of 14, when really they require you to be over the age of 18.

And so this Orchard P Dirk is so tired she can't even change the colors on this post of the date of today, but at least she was able to get the message out that she has started a friendster thing of which she is hoping to find her long lost love or a new mate that is her new best friend, because really, either will do just fine and that's all one can expect from life these days.

love, orch

Day 1 Again: Should it be Jdate or the squid or jdate or really just something else?

2005-09-29T17:41:00.000-04:00

Well now. It has come to my attention that there are multiple ways to find a mate that the advances of modern "technology" make possible that are things that don't require talking exactly with one's mouth, but require typing with one's fingers that are attached to one's hands.
I am pleased to learn such a thing because it is the case that my fingers are fast to make words appear on the screen, and really, that is just the way I was made.

And it reminds me of how I once took a dollar and twenty five cents and gave it to a man on a street in the city of New York in exchange for a bottle of Poland Springs water, which is a brand of something that might be synthetic water that is manufactured in Greenwich, CT. Well, after I handed him this money, he gave me a water bottle that didn't have any water in it, but was empty and there was not even a lid on it to keep the emptiness in. Well, I told him this was not what I was expecting when I handed him my $1.25 and he said something that I have never forgotten and those words that he spoke to me, as he looked on with a kind, pained, expression of wisdom, were: "That is just the luck of the draw." And I really could not say anything back to him, as I really could not disagree with that.

And really, when I get to think about how I type fast, I do think it is just the luck of the draw, as if I had a twin sister who was identical to me, maybe she would not be able to type so fast, or maybe she would.

And then I also just think, as my mind tends to do, if it is the luck of the draw that I can type fast and that I might be given an empty water bottle when I was hoping for a full water bottle, then maybe these things that find you mates that are based on typing instead of talking, like jdate and myspace and other such love-machines, perhaps finding a good mate is really the luck of the draw too, when really I just don't know if that means I should be getting on myspace.com or if it means I should just start putting up posters of the live giant squid that they finally got pictures of in Japan that is 25 feet long and really got caught in a trap from the humans for hours and finally just broke off its tentacle to get free?

Love,
Orchard

p.s. I have entitled my post Day 1 Again, because I believe it is Day 1 of Finding A Mate, which is really just my new adventure that will land me a best friend forever, so I guess it is still in search of a friend, but since I lost track of numbers before anyway, it is quite convenient to start over again anyway and really why not?

My new way of being for a blog that is what I tend to write in

2005-09-25T18:41:00.000-04:00

Well, I just want to let you know that something is going to change about my blog now, and that something is quite a simple thing that you might even have been saying, "Yes, I think that is a simple thing that ought to change" yourself. And that thing is simply this:

I have been caught up in feeling bad that I have not told you about my trip to MichGan and then all the other things I did this summer, which were not many, but mostly consisted of sleeping, which I have indeed told you already, and the puppy that is Igor the Blog. So from now on, I am letting you know that I am giving up the past, because really it is just making me feel like I can't write about the present, and I have always thought to myself, "The past can really weigh oneself down", but I had never experienced it until my Spring and Summer of the lost blogging. And so, that is the case, and starting this week, I shall just write about the events that happen to me now, and I have a feeling quite a few events will happen, as I have made it my mission to find a mate that is called a "fiance" before the year 2006, because if a girl like I just can't find a best friend that will stay in the country she is in, then a girl like I really ought to look for the next best thing, which is considered a mate.

And so that will be my plan, and as my POA worked out quite interestingly in MichGan, although it did make me sleep all summer, so too will my Plan of Action for a mate will work, but I do just know that I can't sleep so much, as Igor the Blog will want his puppy chow and a responsible owner really should not sleep through a puppy's meal time, and I really do feel I will start renumbering my posts, so as to give me a sense of stability in this here life o' mine.

Love,
Orch

When the tail is a waggin'

2005-09-16T15:03:00.000-04:00

Well, I do not have a picture of my puppy, as I am not adept at such appliances as digital cameras or scanner machines, but I can share with you a poem I shall write about my puppy on the spot right now, even though my puppy's name is not quite Spot but it is Igor the Blog:

My puppy is a dog that has a white tail
And my puppy likes to wag that tail
My puppy is a dog that has a black nose
And my puppy's black nose is quite cold.

My puppy likes to bark and whine and jump.
My puppy will even do an Irish jig.
My puppy will eat carrots and beets and chocolate chips
But I don't want my puppy to eat from the dump.

Love,
Orchard

but what would a deer eat in the winter if the berries are all dead?

2005-09-15T16:47:00.000-04:00

Well, my puppy is quite a cute one which has made me quite as happy as a little deer in the forest eating non-poisonous berries from a bush whilst it is still warm enough that the deer does not have to starve to death for lack of food and overpopulation which is really competition, as they say.

But I have to admit that I almost went to sleep before I started blogging here because it appears to be the case that I am just plum tired, and I was thinking, well, I guess I should let my best friend bloggers know, as they really ought to be kept abreast, and perhaps they will even have a word or two of things that are advice-like that might keep me to be more awake during the "hours of the sun." But I really just do wonder what the deer forage for in the forest when there is nothing left to eat, because despite the common misconception, deer do NOT hibernate in the winter, as this is a deer head and this is a kangaroo head and this is a rabbit, as deer are really just the kangaroos of the north.

Love,
orch

I will now tell you about the fact that I have painted with things that are called "acrylics" which are similar to nails, but perhaps not exactly

2005-09-14T17:22:00.000-04:00

Well, one thing that I have come to take time to do whilst I lived in a summer of indoors-ed-ness was a thing which I have termed, "Painting with acrylics." Now, it is the case that acrylics are types of liquids which are not natural and hence they dry faster like fake nails which are also called acrylics and really probably quite the same thing, as one tends to think they smell of that fake smell which is acrylic or lycra, which is also a material that is not of nature. But it leads me to think, is it possible for anything to not be of nature, when really everything in the world is natural in some way, even if man-made, because we are not man-made exactly, except from birth and then isn't everything we make also from nature when you go back far enough?

And so I have completed paintings of this fiber and material and liquid which are there for the taking in painting stores, even though when I ventured out to a painting store whilst trying not to fall asleep in the store, a man said to me, "Do you need to sit down?" And when I explained my situation and asked him to come and paint with me to lift my spirits, as it seemed we hit it off from Day One, he seemed to have to get back "to the grind" and that only made me want to sleep more.

But I did, nonetheless, experience a painting or two or more, which have backgrounds which are really diverse colors of the same genre, and have figures in them which are thin and flowing and really not quite looking like real people, but that is what the artist must do from time to time, as Alejo encourages, and I really just wonder if any of my other blogger friends have ever painted and if they have, have they used said fibers as acrylic or said natural fibers like water and dyes from the earth or one's skin?

Love,
Orchard

We'll start with this-how I came back to the world of Blog

2005-09-09T15:49:00.000-04:00

Well, as it turns out, I do not have the amount of energy a girl like I had a few months ago for blogging, so I have decided the only way to tackle telling you all what I must tell you, is to split it up into little bits or sections of events, and just tell you that, and then a different day, tell you another said item. For if I were to post everything quite rightly, it would take more energy than this Orchard has, even though my summer is far less eventful that any of my days in February were.

So today I will start with the event that was the time of my puppy which is actually quite recent and what has allowed me to come back to the world of Blog. Well, it happened to be the case that after my trip back from MichGan where a lot of dynamic things happened that I still have yet to tell you, I was sleeping a great deal. I was sleeping so much so that one day not long ago, my neighbor who never did watch The Nanny with me on tv came over to my residence and knocked on my door. He seemed to imply that he thought it was odd that I had not been out of my house for such a long period of time and that the lights were always off and yet my vehicle remained and so he wanted to make sure that I had not passed away, as it was really the duty of any citizen.

Well, you can imagine how thrilled I was to know that he cared and so I assured him I had not passed away and invited him in to now watch The Nanny, but he said, "No, no," and informed me he had other things to do, and I asked if any of those things were checking in on other neighbors and he said no, that was not on his agenda for the day. And so I felt quite special that I was his only one, and thanked him and he mumbled something and I asked him to repeat it, and he said it louder and the sentence he said was, "Well, if you need anything, let me know." Which I thought was just the sweetest thing in the world so I told him I needed a puppy because I had a dream with a puppy buying a camera in it just that night before who was a poodle with black hair, and it made me decide that I needed one, but it didn't have to be a pure bred, and he raised his eyebrows in a certain way and said, "Okay."

Well, I waited and waited for 3 days, and while this neighbor never did bring the puppy, it did get me to come out of my bed and to stop sleeping quite so much, as I was always wondering if the puppy were about to arrive and I did not want to sleep through the delivery. So then I thought to myself, "What would my best friend bloggers tell me to do?" And I really did think that, and I could even imagine Alejo saying something like, "If you want a puppy, you shouldn't wait for your neighbor to bring it, you should get it yourself!" And so I took this advice that a blogger might have given me, and I went out and found a puppy at a place that is called the SPCA or ASPCA or another such organization of letters that really only wants to find homes for animals that they make not have babies or rabies.

And I took this puppy home with me and we have had quite a few adventures even in a short period of time, as she is quite a bold little puppy who some might say takes after her mother, as I tend to like to call myself her mother, even though I did not give birth to her, but I did give her a bowl of water just this morning along with other treats and food, and those are things some mothers give. And so the puppy is really quite a recent thing that has occured in my life, but she has made me decide that there is more to life than sleeping and so my summer hibernation has ended and I can't imagine it would end any other way, even though I am sad I didn't get to tell you how it was over 90 degrees Farenheit for a record number of days in the NYC area, and everyone knows that a girl like I just likes to report to her national and international friends what the weather is like where she is located in her place of residence where she lives and has her puppy that she named Igor the Blog, even though while said girl was sleeping she tended to miss the explosion of the podcast.

Love always,
Orch

Well, it is I again!

2005-09-08T20:44:00.000-04:00

Dear Best Friend Bloggers,

I have now just come to the usage of my laptop computer and so I felt I must allow my best friend bloggers to know that I am okay in this day and age. And that I cannot believe I have not posted since the month that I have dubbed "The Month of Almost Summer" or "The Month I Stopped Blogging" which is commonly referred to as "June." But this is the fact, and there is no denying it, try as I might.

And I just have tears in my eyes right now, as I witness the kindness of all of my best friend bloggers who have shared their concern for wondering how I was and if I were still only sleeping and dreaming, which is quite a lot of what I have been doing e're these long months of technical summer. But I have also done other activities, which are things that I must tell you about, because there is just no one else that I can tell but you, because you still remain my best friends in the blog world, which is most of the world that I connect with. But tonight, I shall just say that I offer my thoughts and prayers to the bloggers and non-bloggers that have been affected by the hurricane which has changed their lives, and I especially think of Javafoofoo and Rob The Webkahunah, and read their blogs and know that their lives are safe although changed.

And I shall become more of a blogger once again, and I'm sure when I explain my little simple tale, you will understand why I have not been blogging, but I must just say that I appreciate that I now am, and I appreciate so much your love and support as best friend bloggers.

Love,
Orchard

Would you believe I still am not numbering my days?

2005-06-21T21:42:00.000-04:00

Well, I don't know how to break this to you, but I have still been sleeping all the time now! One might say that this is characteristic of a sign of something that the doctors in the US of A call "depression," but I feel just as tidy as a bee in a hive. So a girl like I doesn't even think she is depressed, but rather thinks she is just so tidy and happy as a mouse. But a girl like I just cannot help sleeping for almost all the time right now.

The benefit to this is that I have had quite a few dreams that perhaps I shall put together in a tidy little book and use a tidy little mousepad even from a laptop in order to help structure the format and look and design of such a tidy little book of dreams. But I only need to find a title that is as catchy as a dream catcher, but that people will like to read and be enticed by, even though I have to admit that life is just as they say it is whether it is 80 degrees Farenheit or 12 degrees Farenheit.

Love,
Orch

Now another day and night

2005-06-17T20:58:00.000-04:00

As an old man who used to throw a newspaper at my house growing up used to say, "Doncha know it?" And I was thinking about his words today when I realized ANOTHER day has gone by and I've pretty much just been sleeping and eating and doing other necessities of life since my trip to MichGan just wore me out, and I haven't had as much time to blog as I was thinking in my noggin' of brain-thoughts.

So I shall just have to say that I have written about 10 blog posts in my head, but now my fingers just have to decide to take the energy to put those brain-thoughts of blogs into the keyboard of letters on the laptop of the computer I tend to use whilst writing posts for my best friend bloggers.

And I also just wonder what is that little noise birds make when they are sounding like they're eating or clucking something but they are not eating, which tends to happen after they are washing themselves like a cat to clean themselves?

love,
orchy

The Day after I have returned from my adventures in the state that I like to call MichGan

2005-06-15T22:33:00.000-04:00

Well, it just so happens to be the situation that a girl like I has slept through almost an entire day and now is ready to go to bed again! This might be a result of the changes that have occurred in my life since I departed for the wedding I was hoping to find a mate at or an elderly woman who might support me in my expeditions. But apparently the body that I own has decided that it is high time it gets to sleep, and rest up as it has been under a lot of stress and non-sleep in that state that is fun to call "MichGan" and leave out the syllable that is the soft or short "ih" sound, which I have always found rather offensive anyway.

So I shall just tell you quickly that I had a dream that I was a duck that had feet that were made of steel and the steel feet were quite heavy to carry around with me, and then one fell off and I was sad that I had only one foot, but I was also relieved to not have that weight on my left leg. And then I saw a baby duck and it winked at me and it had a bright red pupil in its eye, which was rather disturbing, but also quite adorable at the same time, as is always the case with baby creatures of the water. Then I was on an aeroplane that was making little circles in the clouds, then I became the pilot of the aeroplane and then I was just at a zoo, smiling and feeding ducks in a pond, and I didn't at all think I was a duck then.

So that was my day, and unfortunately, I will have to nod off again and obey the body that I am in, and come back to you soon when my body has decided it is ready to stop resting and dreaming, and then i will fill you in, but boy it will be something else!

Love always and forever,

Orchard P. Dirk

Back from the michigan trip to make friends at the wedding, and now time to take what I like to call a "shower to cool me off in this hot weather"

2005-06-14T21:05:00.000-04:00

Well, I have returned from Michigan and my weekend wedding trip turned into so much more, as it combined my love of water animals and my passion for making new friends and also little tiny paperweights made from such hot and clever items as: stones, sticks, pieces of glass, shells weighed down with cement, etc.

I just wanted to say hi, and now I will unwind and take a shower as it has been a long couple of weeks and settle in to the 90 degree Farenheit weather, which is just what we have tended to be having in the world over here now in New York state tonight. And I will update you soon, but I hope things are well in your blogworlds, and in your real-life worlds too, which is quite a world to be living in, even though I have a blister on my right foot from all the walking around I did in that state that is called:

MICHIGAN

And the blog world certainly does not give me blisters on my feet, but my wrists do tend to ache from time to time working on a lap top in a weird position, but as they always say, "That is your choice, Orchard," and it is and I choose it.

Love, orch

Day 130: Well, Finally I have a POA that will make me have a husband and maybe a new grandmother who gives me $50 for graduation

2005-06-02T17:42:00.000-04:00

Well, a life just seems so much more bearable and interesting when said life's owner has a "POA" or "Plan Of Action" in said owner's life on how to live it. And this Orchard has just about had enough of sitting alone every night not being able to consistently use her computer and not watching tv because of the bad cable service, and not having friends, and this Orchard now has a POA that will change her life!

And so my POA is simply this: I will attend a wedding and find someone who wishes to marry me. I have decided on this course of action because it seems the story goes that when someone is looking for a good time in life, if that someone attends a wedding she or he is not invited to, it is just a riot and people always find funny things to happen, and meet people, and get free food and laughs, and often people at the wedding even think that the person not invited is an old relative or other such nonsense, and said non-invitee might even get some money for her graduation if the elderly people think she is a relative who just graduated.

Well, I am hoping it will work out just like this, and so I have checked out the internet sites for weddings and it tends to be the case that there is a wedding going on in Michigan this weekend where the bride is just so cute and fun looking, and she likes hand-made pottery and even registered something called a "bridal registry" at Macy's and Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Which is rather nice to let people know the kinds of gifts that one might like to receive. But I decided to go to Pier 1 and purchase just a beautiful salad bowl and servingware to go with it, because the bride also mentioned that she likes wooden utensils, and why not a wooden salad bowl to go with?

And I will wrap it up in glossy magazines with pictures of diamonds and articles about "is he really your mate for life?" and make little glitters on it, as I do like glitters, and I will even sing to the bowl tonight to get it in shape for the long 12 hour drive to Michigan tomorrow. And I am pleased that the group rate that the bride reserved at the hotel is still in effect so close to the wedding, and I really just am so grateful that the bride was kind enough to post this information to the public domain.

So tomorrow begins my journey of my trip and I am just so excited to finally meet that special someone and to feel connected and loved again at a wedding, but I am only nervous the bride will not like the color of my salad bowl gift.

Love,
Orchard

Day 122: How fame made me rethink things and that's just something I need to do now and then even though I'm tired and hope this blog entry will be ok

2005-05-25T15:28:00.000-04:00

Well, when push comes to shove, it really is only those who make themselves known who stand out, but fame always comes with a price, and this is what I have been learning about for a little bit of time now that has existed in my life.

For a few weeks, I had begun to become quite renowned for my expertise on the ways of the Creatures of the Sea, and how the planet we call EARTH can change due to those creatures, and how we humanoids oftentimes need to take heed to the warnings of the creatures of the sea. I had developed what became to be known as a "riot" that would collect around me every morning, noon, and night, as I would stand by a local pizza place that had a fish tank in its window, and I would tell the tales that I ought to be telling to those who would listen with wide ears. Well, I suppose I did become rather comfortable in my new life and my new recognition, answering such questions as, "What are you talking about?" and "Why are you here?" And other such cute phrases that allowed me ample time to explain my purpose.

So you can imagine that it quite surprised me when just last night my adventures came to a halt. I was at my normal post and the manager of the store with the fish tank and sweeping by me and even sweeped on my feet and said a few choice phrases that he always says when he sees me there, but I just smile and tell him something along the lines of its being a "free country" that we live in here in the US of A, and that the creatures of the sea will band together and make him not so happy if he tries to say his choice phrases with more vehemence to me again.

And so as this was happening last night, and my "riot" was beginning to form and people were beginning to throw small presents at me in a sign that they were supporting my work, and I heard their normal laughs and other such kindnesses, and then suddenly a man who is called an "officer of the law" came to me. Well, he seemed to have a lot of information about these laws and told me some things about complaints, and permits, and definitions of riots and crowd control, and all the kinds of things a girl like I just simply cannot keep in her head when she has important issues of the world to think about such as the messages of the creatures of the sea. And so I told him this, and he seemed to think I was trying to make a joke which he did not appreciate, and then one thing led to another and it came to pass that I ended up having to pay a small sum of monetary value so that I would be released to the world at large.

So it has come to my attention that this persecution because of my fame is unjust and unfair, but then I think of all the horrible websites devoted to unflattering pictures of famous movie stars and singers which I won't even give a link to because it would only encourage such persecution of the famous, and I know that is just part of the world that I became a part of.

But I have now left that world, and am back grounded to my normal residence, place of being, and stature. And while fame had its perks, such as the food my fans and followers would toss at me daily, I suppose it had started to block my clearer vision of purpose.

So i have decided to take heed to the real messages of the creatures of the sea and just stop trying to convince everyone of the utter importance. Because a creature of the sea is really more about swimming along and just trying not to be eaten, and hiding in the plants, and sometimes attacking others and eating them, but mostly for food, and since I have food in the grocery store, I do not need to learn from that part of the lesson.

And so my life now has lost its focus, and so I must figure out what my next step will be. And perhaps it really is most important to focus on finding a new best friend, since Kimmy has done the thing she had to do in another country that is not the one I live in. And really, when I get to thinking about this whole thing, the Creatures of the Sea project only allowed me to meet crazy fans, and that's not actually the kind of stable friend you want, so maybe it wasn't such a great idea in the first place, even when I have to just tell you that it's been back in the 50 degrees Farenheit again today which feels rather like April, not May.

Love,
Orch

Can you believe I learned another lesson even after day 100 of my journey? Well, it is the case and it is very much so.

2005-05-18T22:10:00.000-04:00

Well, first off, I must warn you that I have no pretty links in this blog, but I'm sure you will understand when you read what I am about to write.

Well, a girl like I has reached over 100 days of trying to find earth friends, and one might think that in those 100 days a girl like I has learned all there is to learn about life and such. Well, if you are that one who thought that, I would have to say in this case, that that one is wrong, for it just has happened that I have been learning a lesson in a very hard way for these past many days that have stretched into weeks that contain 7 days in each of them.

It has come to be the situation that I have been having what are known to be called as "problems" regarding my connection to the high speed world of internet and bloggerdom. Apparently, the modem or cable, or whatever it was that was causing such a great nice wireless connection to my laptop on which I write to my best friend bloggers when I have such things to tell them, has decided to have a "problem" which has prevented it from absorbing signals to allow my laptop to receive the internet on it. My phone has also not been receiving the American "dial tone" as it is related to the modem or cable, but this has posed less of an issue, as even when the dial tone was working, I did not receive more than 1 call every few weeks, and most of the time it was not meant for me, but I really just even wished for a friendly call from a service or newspaper, but being that my number is unlisted due to something out of my control, I do not even have these fun calls of joy and triumph.

So I finally used a cellular telephone to connect to my provider and it seems to be a problem with a splitter or wire or other such nonsence, as I informed him. And so the man on the phone helped me follow the wire and rehook up the modem thing to another source which is working now which is why I can tell you this message, but it is not as convenient, and I fear it will cut off at any time, which is why I do not have time to put in such links as to illustrate the points which I am making. And so I have learned the following lessons e're the long long lonely days:

1) If one has a problem with something that is making one sad and keeping one from communicating with one's best friend bloggers, one ought not to wait for weeks before finding a cellular telephone to contact a company to make the problem turn into a solution--because it is really just a waste of perfectly good time.

2) When one relies on something that is out of one's own control such as a company that calls itself Cablevision who really just was not happy that the west side property in New York was sold to someone else, but really Cablevision should be happy it even owns Madison Square Garden, if it does, then one is necessarily putting oneself at the risk of being abandonned, and one should always have a backup plan, which said orchard did not have until she called the company to help only tonight.

3) Despite one's loneliness and lack of blogging, one is always happy to return and see that one's best friend bloggers are still there for one, and one even gained a new blog-friend called WashingtonNational, which does not have a link.

And these are the lessons of my life lately. This is all I am able to communicate tonight, but I will try to make the colors pretty, as that takes only a moment. And I will have to tell you about how I have become a renowned Creatures of the Sea expert in another blog, as this blogger has had all the internet excitement she can handle for one blogging night.

love always and sincerely,
Orchard P Dirk

Day 100: Bringing the dead fish Creatures of the Sea project to the school to teach the lessons of the world

2005-05-03T21:35:00.000-04:00

Well, it just happens to be the case that when a girl has an important thing to share with the world, that world will just try rather quite hard to keep that thing from being said, but that should only push said girl to try even harder to share her news to every man, woman and child in the earth world.

Such was my experience when I made my first steps to tell the world about my Creatures of the Sea project. Since the dead fish I had collected from the Long Island Sound were beginning to create quite a stir of odor and such in my residence, I decided it was the best signal of all to start educating the world about all the lessons Creatures of the Sea have to give us if we will only open our ears like gills and breathe to listen.

And so I figured the best place to start such an education would be at a place that encourages education, which is called a "school" in the U S of A, and so I went to such an institute that was named after a street that was named after the town, which also was also named after a prominent figure in the history of the country in which I, by coincidence, happened to be born into. And so I had mounted my dead fish in the cutest of pyramids and covered them in Elmer's glue so as to ensure that they would not be falling all over the place, and put a few pink bows and ribbons around them, and threw some streamers on the sides, just for that festive color. And I put my pyramid on a cart and I wheeled my project to the school doors.

Well, this is where I encountered a slight obstacle, as it came to pass that the school doors were locked, and there was a contraption-like buzzer that I had to touch and state my purpose of intent, which I said to be, "Sharing my Creatures of the Sea project with all the world." Well, the person who had control over letting me in or not hesitated, and had me say a few more sentences that are just not so interesting as to post here, but eventually, a child who was a student opened the door for me, and I just stopped talking to the buzzer lady.

The child then led me to his classroom, and even placed his wooden "Lav Pass" onto my cart with the project, and it really just reminded me of how open the youth are to hearing of lessons that will change the world, which is really just what we are all doing anyway. So we came into the classroom and the children all seemed to rather make unusual faces at the sight of my project and the teacher seemed to get to have a sqwaking-like voice that sounded a bit like my cockatiel, and so I knew they were ready to hear my words.

Well, I went on to tell them about my experience in Florida and how the shark taught me a lesson and how each dead fish represented a lesson, and I was just about to tell them all the secrets that each dead fish had to share about life that would make them all live just the nicest lives in the world, when a person who was of the male species came in and just had some words and had a face that was not such a jovial one, and before I knew it, I was standing outside of the school. There was talk of a police officer, which I really just encouraged as he could spread the word of my project quickly, but he never did come, and so I was left with only part of my project, as some of it had been destroyed in the mad-cap rumble and tumble that ensued.

And so that was my experience today. So because my project has been partially destroyed anyway, I have decided to wrap the rest of it up in sheets of aluminum foil and place that foiled fish in a hole under the ground until I can figure out my next move. Because really, my residence was not like it used to be since the dead fish came to reside there, and while I do love the lessons of the fish, I did not so much like the presence of the fish in every smell of the residence. But they will keep well in the ground and I am excited to see if they will grow into anything else.

But really when I come to think about it, I wonder if the fish didn't just teach me a lesson right today, amidst all the chaos and disappointment of the school teaching. Because I still feel rather pleased to have made a difference, slight as it was, in the lives of the children who heard a bit about the Creatures of the Sea, and I know that even a man named Galileo and such had difficult times getting the world to hear the news, so I have become just all that much stronger, and I really just have the fish to thank for that, but also it is nice to have a television now and then.

Love,
Orchard

Day 95: A survey that I was told I had to take, and so I did and relay said survey to you

2005-04-28T22:29:00.000-04:00

One of my blogger friends who has the name of Daily Shower filled out a survey,and he then posted on his website to have me do the same survey on my website, even though the Shower does not tend to like to post things on my very own blog. But I thought I would respect his wishes and allow you a little more insight into what makes me "tick" as they say, and I know Aswin has wondered from time to time. So I cannot guarantee that I will be as entertaining as some, but I will just be honest, and really, that is all a girl like I can do these days, especially when she is still trying to figure out where to place her Creatures of The Sea project which has tended to make her place of residence have a certain odor about it that some might not enjoy so much.

Three Names You Go By: Orchard, Orch, Orchid (to my special blogger friends who have dubbed this flower to be my name)

Three Screen Names You Have: Orchard P Dirk

Three Things You Like About Yourself: 1) I like to make a difference in this world of ours. 2) I like to have my best friend blogger friends. 3) I like that I am going to make the people of the land world understand what the Creatures of the Sea have been trying to tell us for years.

Three Things You Dislike About Yourself: 1) I dislike that I do not have more--or any, at this point, earth friends. I2) dislike that my only best earth friend, Kimmy, moved to Taiwan, but I am happy that she is marrying a man who loves her. 3) I dislike that my true love had to go to Australia before I even got to know his name.

Three Parts of Your Heritage: Well, I guess one could say that I am "American", and also "New York State-an" and also "East Coast of the US-an".

Three Things That Scare You: 1) the worst 2) the thought of eating a handful of sand and choking on it 3) getting a paper cut in my eye

Three Everyday Essentials: 1) my creatures of the sea project, 2) a darling little keychain that doubles as lincoln logs, 3) just the funniest watch that is of a character that is just the darndest thing!

Three Things You're Wearing Right Now: 1) toe nail polish, 2) pants or "slacks" as people are saying ALL THE TIME right now, and 3) a nice shirt that has stripes that make your mind go crazy

Three Favorite Bands/Artists: Well, I am not always one to remember names, so I will honor the artists and not make the names worse than they really are in real life.

Three Favorite Songs at Present: Well, again, the names of things such as songs tend to slip away from a girl such as I, but i do like all those songs about needing each other, and uplifting and of course, "friendship, friendship, just the perfect blendship. When other friendships have been forgot, ours will still be hot."

Three Things You Want To Try And Do In The Next Twelve Months: 1) Get an awareness out to the whole wide world about my Creatures of the Sea project 2) Find a friend that will boil eggs and make a mud-hut with me 3) sand down a coffee table that I found outside and put a darling shiny coat of varnish on it and make it just as good as can be

Three Things You Want In A Relationship: availability, talking, hanging out

Two Truths And A Lie: 1) I ate part of a horse's hoof once, 2) About one year ago, at a roller skating rink, I met a friend of Laura Bush's, who apparently is a big name around where I live now, and 3) I think candles that smell like apples are really better off in the trash

Three Physical Things About The Opposite Sex That Appeal To You: Well, I'd just say 1) a smile that is on the face, 2) having use of one's mouth to talk, and 3) just a laughing ability now and then

Three Things You Just Can't Do:
1) Seem to get it all together 2) make everyone's dreams come true 3) finish a whole plate of pasta at the Olive Garden

Three Favorite Hobbies: 1) Playing games that I make up and that I don't make up, 2) writing in my blog to my best friend bloggers, 3) potty training local dogs and children

Three Things I Want To Do Really Bad Right Now: Just get the world to know the best lesson of all!

Three Careers You Have Considered: 1) President, 2) Yoga Teacher, 3) Telemarketer

Three Places You Want To Go On Vacation 1) Tailand, 2) around the universe, and 3) the land of Oz

Three Kid's Name You Have Considered: 1) Orchard, 2) Orchard Jr. 3) Fizer

Three Things You Want To Do Before You Die: Please see above where I say what I'd like to do in the next 12 months, because really, 12 months could be before I die, or even longer and one really never knows these days.

Three People Who Have To Take This Quiz Now: Well, I shall not order anyone else to take this quiz, but it would be nice to know everyone's thoughts, like as my best friend bloggers have!

Day 93: How I have been living on the beach in search of my Creatures of the Sea project

2005-04-26T12:30:00.000-04:00

Well, as you probably have suspected, I have been engrossed in my Creatures of the Sea project, which has taken quite a bit more time than I have imagined it ought to for a girl such as I. But I have been spending the past week or two living at the beach of the Long Island Sound. After my run-in with the elderly lady who grabbed the best dead fish find of the day, I knew watching guard every moment of the day and night was my only way to really capitilize on the prime specimens.

And so it has come to pass that I have lived on the beach and only taken quick baths in the water of the land, which is just the most natural way to be, as I like to say. And I have collected a good fifty to one-hundred dead fish and other such sea creatures, and I have finally returned to my residence today, and set up my specials in a nice neat little pyramid-style statue. And while it is quite a site to behold, I now must figure out what my next plan of action will be.

I did have quite a bit of time on the beach to think on my project and how best to use it to make the people of the land understand how the creatures of the sea can teach us lessons. But as it turns out, the beach on the Long Island Sound is quite a place that attracts characters of all sorts of walks of life, and thus my thought process was often interupted by a person who some might dub "crazy" making up little songs and jigs, and searching for buried treasure, and making fires to "smoke out the wallies" and other such happenings that, whilst interesting, do detract from the planning mind, such as mine tended to try to be most of the time when I was not catching specimens.

And so I will rest today and perhaps take a shower in the chlorinated water of the land-world, and eat a little something more substantial than what I have been eating on the beach, and then perhaps I shall sit quietly, with my hands folded neatly in my lap, and then a thought and solution will come to me in how to share my project with the world.

And I do hope you are all having a splendid time, because over here in the state of New York, the weather has just been rather ideal, with the sun and temperatures in the 70s and 80s Farenheit, which is rather reminiscent of summer, and it is hard to imagine those cold days of only 10 degrees Farenheit and such, but that is the way of we humans, who really just deal and cope to our surroundings, unless we change our surroundings, but that is also the human-way, such as it is.

Love,

Orchard P Dirk,
Educator of the Wisdom that Creatures of the Sea have to offer we humans

Day 80: The famous saying I just made up

2005-04-13T17:27:00.000-04:00

I just thought of a wonderful saying that it would be nice if people would put into their "Book of Sayings" and that saying is this:

"When a girl is changed by a shark, she really is more than a fish out of water on sand, and that is a lot faster than most things these days."

And that is what I'm feeling today, and I think I shall try to scavenge some dead fish on my own tomorrow, bright and early so the elderly lady doesn't get all the best finds.

Love,

Orchard

Day 79: Maybe an elderly lady just got to steal my fish as fast as a lightning bug

2005-04-12T16:45:00.000-04:00

Well, as it turns out, there is truth to the phrase "Finder's Keeper's", as I went to the beach-area today to search for the dead fish for my project for the sea creatures of this universe, and it came to pass that there were no fish for the taking! One elderly lady was already there with a rather large purse, so I asked her if I could at least look at the dead fish she'd tucked away in her purse no doubt, since it was only coincidence that she appeared there earlier than I to retrieve the specimens. Well, this elderly lady said a sentence like this:

"I don't have no fish in my purse and you take your bad ideas and get away from me!"

Well, I informed her I didn't have bad ideas of any sort, but only wanted to encourage the free sharing of natural property such as fish, and she seemed to make a snarling sort of noise at me, so I just let her pass and said not another word, as if there is one thing I know, it is to let a snarling animal pass.

And so that is what happened today, and I will be sure to be on guard for those in this world who simply get there first and take your dead fish project specimens, and do not want to share, even if they have not had such a world-changing experience, as I did when I learned about the shark in my trip to Florida, although I do have to thank Abby for her warm welcome to send me mail, and that would be quite nice.

Love,

Orchard

Day 77: The beautiful suprise in orange and glitter, and a robot!

2005-04-10T17:40:00.000-04:00

Well, it came to pass that a girl named Orchard received a very special treat yesterday, called Saturday, and that treat that she received was this:

Orchard received a very nice sweet letter from her best friend, Kimmy, and the letter was written on orange construction paper and had a few gold glitter spots on it and it said the following:

"Orchard, you are my best friend and I miss you and I am safe in Taiwan and that is the way that life is, but I am so happy that you tried to get to Taiwan to make sure I arrived safely and that what friends are for."

Well, it was the sweetest letter in the world, but I now much confess, that I am that Orchard which received said letter, and I also must confess that I am the one who wrote said letter that I received.

So I guess it is just back to waiting to hearing from Kimmy, but in the mean time, I have the beautiful letter that I wrote to myself from Kimmy. And I also have the wonderful kind words from my best friend bloggers, and my new blogger friend, Mister Underhill, who has suggested the world of robots, which is quite nice because I have heard of a wonderful robot named Valerie, who dated a Mr. Underwood that was a typewriter, but I really am not into that whole dating scene of typewriters and other such appliances.

Love,

Orchard

Day 74: Pepsi jingles, Florida life guards, and how the shark that stopped moving taught me a lesson that I learned

2005-04-07T16:00:00.000-04:00

It is like I always say, "If you are struggling and moving and trying to make Life fit into the little shape you want it to, Life will find a way to slow you down and bring you back to where you belong, and hopefully it will be in one piece, and not missing a limb, but if it does, so be it." And that saying was brought into play by what has been happening to me for the past week or two.

Well, it seems I cannot keep track of every single day, but after Kimmy and I were reunited, we had a few days of friendship bliss, which consisted of the same fun times we'd had before, and new ones involving training Seeing-Eye dogs for the blind, creating jingles for Pepsi that Pepsi did not seem to understand the signifiance of, but time will tell, and setting a record of how long we could clean one single kitchen counter with a 409 Cleaning Spray, and 36 hours long is how long.

These times were fun, but Life decided once again that they could not last. And so it came to pass that Kimmy decided it was time to return to Taiwan as apparently she has a man there who intends to marry her, and she is not opposed to this idea. And I really was quite sad when I figured out this was happening, but I also had to try not to be selfish, as besides me, it seems most people in this country do not understand much of Kimmy's English, which has gotten a bit better, I must say, but still lacks many important words, even though Kimmy likes to communicate more in actions than words to me anyway.

So now it appears to be the case that Kimmy has left this country that I live in called "America" to many people, and so I departed on a journey to follow Kimmy and make sure she arrived safely in Taiwan because that is what friends are for. But of course, it seems there are many rules to flying on an aeroplane that I was not aware of, and it thwarted me at every turn. So then I tried to drive there, but I only made it as far as Florida, and did not have internet access there to contact my kind blogger friends who live there, and I wasn't even sure that Florida was headed in the right direction, and once I hit the water, I knew the car would have to be left behind.

And on my way to Florida, naturally, I tried to make friends, but I learned rather quickly that the people you can make friends with on your journey to Florida are not quite the kinds of friends you want to "bring home to Mom and Dad" as they say. So then I had to find a way to cross the waters, and so I was to leave my car behind with a new friend that had long hair but was a male that I met outside a very nice convenience store, but then the Life Guards of a hotel in Florida kept telling me there were not boats to Taiwan, but maybe I wanted to go to Key West instead. But I said I certainly did not want to go to Key West as Kimmy was not in Key West, and they said they did not know who Kimmy was, but when I tried to explain my tale, they said they really ought to be watching the residents swim in their pool and they advised me to go back to New York State or rent a hotel room there for the night.

Well, I felt a bit discouraged, as you can imagine, because I really only wanted to make sure Kimmy arrived safely. So then I appeared on the beach, and a man with a metal detector proceeded to tell me a tale about how he was attacked by a shark, and how sharks really CAN stop moving and stay alive, because he said the shark that attacked him stopped moving and sure had a grand old rest as he bit into his leg, and then swam off happy as a clam afterward. I thanked him for that nice shark tale and then told him I rather felt like a fish out of water, as I was trying to get to my best friend's house in Taiwan to help her arrive safely. So then he asked me a question about when her flight had left and other such personal attire, and I shared this information, as I felt he had certainly shared his personal attire with me about his shark attack, and he then said that Kimmy's flight no doubt had landed in Taiwan a week ago or so, and that she had either arrived safely or she had not, and my getting there wouldn't change a thing one way or the other.

And I really just think that shark man was placed on that beach so that he could enlighten me on my journey and bring it to an end, so that I too, could rest happy and secure, just as that shark had rested his teeth, on the man's leg, and it just brought a sense of peace to me and a connection to the creatures of the sea. And so I found the man with long hair who was now living in my car, who seemed not too pleased that I had returned to get it after all, but some friends like he just can't accept the fact that my journey had changed, so I told him I appreciated his concern for Kimmy, but this shark had to return to New York.

So now I have returned home at last, and my journey is why I have not been writing, but only had internet access on a "limited basis" before I arrived in Florida, and used that "limited basis" time just to check out a few of my best friend bloggers' posts, because you are all so special to me. So now that I am here, I am awaiting a letter from Kimmy any day, and in the mean time, I have decided to capitalize on the insight I had regarding the creatures of the sea and so I am going to try to visit the Long Island Sound every day now and collect dead fish, and perhaps make a project out of them, so that people can start to appreciate all the living creatures of the water world, who can teach us lessons about our journeys and ourselves, just as the shark and his man-prey taught me.

Love,
Orchard

Day Number I am not sure, because I have had an adventure which leaves me needing to put the "peepers" to bed

2005-04-05T20:15:00.000-04:00

Well, this is a short post, but I just had to tell you all that I was okay, as it's been a while since I posted on account of a story that will probably just make you go, "Oh, that Orchard!" and other such phrases that characterize the drama that has unfolded before my eyes. And that story that has unfolded within the drama is one that I will tell you tomorrow, for today I have just returned from my adventure and now must rest my "peepers," as they say. But I thank you all for coming and caring and loving, and I will be back once again, and you are just wonderful to be patient with an Orchard such as I!

Love always,

Orch

Day 61: Kimmy's joke and I'm not very into writing to a stuffed rabbit

2005-03-25T14:59:00.000-05:00

Well, Kimmy just told me the funniest little joke! She acted it out a lot with gestures and what not, but I thought it was just hilarious, and a friend like I always wants to share such wonderful delights with a friend such as her blogger friends, and so here it is:

A little dog that barked walked into the cutest little hair dresser's place and said, 'Bark bark bark!' because that was all he knew how to say. And then wouldn't you know it! The hair dresser said, "We don't serve trees, Mister!"

And so that is the joke.

And the way Kimmy told it, as she was pretending to be a dog that is called a "poodle," and also a hairdresser, but that had fingers that were scissors instead of real scissors, and how she was swatting at my hair whilst telling it, just like a horse does to another horse--well, the whole package made for just the cutest, funniest little joke! And a joke, now and then, can really lift one's spirits, and so on this Good Friday, I am just passing that on to you, and I do just wish you all the happiest Easter because it is really a holiday of good things. Although I do have to say that I was disturbed to learn that at malls, the fake Easter Bunny was having kids sit on his lap and he was asking them, "What do you want for Easter?" Because it is one thing to write a letter to a man in red that lives at the North Pole asking for gifts, but it is quite another to to write a letter to a large stuffed rabbit who lives who knows where asking for gifts.

Love,
Orch

Day 59: My rockstar meeting with Kimmy and that is all I can say without giving the rest away that is my adventure of life today

2005-03-23T21:01:00.000-05:00

I must say, and I've said this before, but I've found it always to be the case. Life sure knows how to throw you a bone now and then. Even if you had to kill the chicken yourself with your own bare hands and struggle and get cut up by the chicken's claws, and then have to yank the bone out of the chicken, and clean it up enough so that it's something you wouldn't mind that Life gave you--Life sure does know how to throw those bones.

Well, I could not think of the best song to win back my friendship for Kimmy, but since I had worked so hard yesterday in getting my hair done just so and warming up my voice in the shower, I knew I must strike while the kettle was hot! So I grabbed my sack of pennies and threw on my most striking rockstar outfit, which was 1) purple flowered leggings 2) a short orange cordoroy skirt 3) a shirt that said, "Friendship is the perfect Blendship" and 4) a hat/crown that I made from aluminum foil and decorated with popsicle sticks, band-aids, and bark with glue. Then I made haste and got over to Kimmy's residence.

I waited in my normal spot where I like to post myself, watching for Kimmy to come and go. It was a good wait because while there, I got to think about what I might sing to Kimmy to make the most beautiful song in the world. Well, I had not yet figured out what that song was when I saw Kimmy's car pull up, and she walked into her residence facility, and then I even saw the light turn on in her room. As the light turned on, a tiny grey light turned on in my head too, and I knew right then and there, the most beautiful song to win Kimmy back was not some song I had rehearsed and perfected! No! It was a song that I would make up on the spot, that I would sing from my heart! It would be real and pure and Kimmy would see that and take me back as her best friend.

So I grabbed my sack of pennies and began throwing them at Kimmy's window. It appeared that the pennies tended to like to go to other people's windows, as well, so I became witness to quite some unpleasant things people were shouting out and about. But soon I heard Kimmy's distinct shout, and I stopped tossing. I ran out so she could see me in the dimming light and I just burst into song right then and there!

I couldn't even tell you what my song was like now, only that it had key words in it like "Orchard, me, Kimmy, friends, blendship, imposter". But that's all I remember because it really was just a river flowing from my heart to Kimmy's window, and it flowed so loud and fast that Kimmy told me, "Stop! No! Stop! I down! I come down!" or something to that effect, and true to her word, Kimmy came down and stood about 10 feet away from me..

I wanted to run at her and give her a hug, but then remembered how she had not received me so warmly the last time. So I learned from history, and remembered that wonderful song from my childhood that taught me, "Once bitten, twice shy, babe." So I remained planted where I remained, and Kimmy stared at me for a moment. She held a large paper bag in her hands and I was hoping that it was a bundle of friendship underneath! I knew that she was trying to figure out if I were the true Orchard at this moment, or just an imposter. Well, she finally shook her head at me, and pointed to my leggings then to my crown and she started laughing. I started laughing also and lauged so hard that I fell on the ground and started rolling around. I rolled quite a distance, and Kimmy had to jog a little to catch up with me.

Then I sat up and finally stood on my own two feet and told her this one sentence, that I hoped would always bring her comfort, "I am the real Orchard."

Well, it seemed to work because then she did the most touching thing in the world. She pulled out from under that paper bag the tap dancing green paper mache grass ostrich that I made for her for St. Patrick's day! I had left it by the trash dumpster, so I had figured it had been impounded by now, but apparently Kimmy had rescued it and undoubtedly seen my card expressing how I missed her. I then had to give her a hug and she didn't seem to think I was as much of an imposter then or if I were, I made a darn good green tap dancing grass paper mache ostrich. But she then broke away from me and ran into the house at lightning speed!

I tried to follow her, but I was holding the ostrich and it just didn't allow me to catch up, and that Kimmy sure does have legs that take her places at a rapid pace. I started to panic because I was afraid I might have accidentally done something an imposter of Orchard might have done, but then Kimmy appeared back down stairs near me and she held a large bucket in her hand and grinned just the cutest little grin. She yelled, "Bad cow! Bad cow!" and I was rather quite impressed that she had learned so many English words from me. Then she seemed to run at me, and all of a sudden, she dumped a bucket of sour smelling milk all over me.

Well, I was quite shocked at first because of the stench and coldness on my clothes and body, then I quickly came to my senses and knew that Kimmy was only playing the special game I had shown her the last night before she stopped answering my calls, only that time she was the bad cow and I was the bucket holder. Well, Kimmy had a good laugh and shook my hand, and I laughed too, but then thought it was about time to go, as I ought to get out of my sour milk rock star clothing.

Kimmy nodded and said, "Oh yes, good, good. Yes." and I knew that I had my Kimmy back.

Love,
Orchard

Day 58: My special hairstyle and clip and how it must be hard to live in a separate place from a husband a girl in Jamaica loves

2005-03-22T20:22:00.000-05:00

Well, sometimes it appears that in the process of achieving a goal, even if the goal is not yet completed, one can really quite achieve something else which is not too dissimilar from one's first goal anyway.

So today, while I do not let have the lyrics or melody worked out for my song to make Kimmy, my friend who thinks I'm an imposter, become my best earth friend again and feel comfortable that I am me, I decided I ought not to waste time waiting for the lyrics to appear in my mind, so I have gone ahead and started working on other steps of my plan, even if Step #1 is not completed.

And so I have made sure that my voice is ready to sing a very nice song, which was mostly accomplished by singing a ditty in the shower that had words in it about someone sitting in a car and how she "sits and shifts and shifts and sits" and so on. Then when my voice was ready to perform, I also decided that I must look like a singer, so I went to the hair dresser's today, as I figured they ought to be able to make me a star, and this is where I had a quite surprising and delightful encounter.

At the hair dresser's, I told the dresser to dye my hair just the cutest little rockstar color, and then to make it big in places, and short in places, and hard in places, and just smooth in other places. Well, the hair dresser said to me that a good hair dresser always like a challenge and that I was certainly presenting one to her, so I told her she was quite welcome, and that I would make sure to mention she said that in my blog tonight.

So, I shall call the hairdresser "Brigit," because I feel it is not right to expose her true name on such an international basis or she would become quite swamped with work, and really, she is just trying to make ends meet so her husband can come back from Jamaica and live with her here in the U S of A, where she lives on a short term visa.

So as Brigit was making my hair presentable, she asked why I wanted such a hairdo. And so I told her my tale of my blog and how my best friend bloggers have just all encouraged me to make new friends, like at the bookstore, and Applebees, and by adopting an international baby, and during the superbowl, and at yoga and pilates classes, and all my other little adventures. And how that led to my having my friend Kimmy not believe that I was the true Orchard.

Well, it was so sweet because Brigit laughed and even shed a tear whilst she kept apologizing while holding up one hand and shaking her head and looking down, which was darling, and when she gained control of herself from the emotion of my tale, she said it was too bad I was not a rapper because she said there was already a song out there by a man who is white who had the same issue of making sure people knew that he were the true himself and not an imitator. But I said that was alright because I would not want to use a rap by someone else when I really must have lyrics about Orchard and Kimmy anyway.

But my story touched her so, as she surely knew what it was like to be separated from someone you love, and she even said she would give me a special little hair clip that looked like a pickle and said "Heinz" on it, that she had brought with her from Jamaica, and she would place it on me because surely Kimmy would love to hear a song from Orchard with a nice Jamaican pickle clip.

And so while I do not yet have my Step #1 completed, that is to say, my song is not created from my mind yet, my day turned out to be just quite festive anyway in completing my other steps. And I really just must say that it is possible that Brigit and I will become rather nice earth friends, as well, although one can never tell if Love will draw her back to her husband who is in that place that is Jamaica, where they have darling little hair clips of side dishes and a generosity of spirit that allowed a girl from Jamaica to give said clip to me.

And even though it reached 57 degrees Farenheit today, which was rather nice--with my new hair do, and my voice all ready, I feel that tomorrow will be the day I will be able to go to Kimmy's and win her back as my best earth friend.

Love always,

Orchard p
DIRK

Day 57: The most beautiful song in the world and how it will make everything right again

2005-03-21T15:38:00.000-05:00

Dear Friends,

Well, I have decided that it might not be the wisest thing to leave more notes around Kimmy's place of residence, since I last almost had an encounter with a crazy fan, and really, a girl like I just doesn't have time to deal with people who are crazy fans of her letters and Hello Kitty notes she has left for her friend, Kimmy. I also fear that Kimmy will not recognize me as the real Orchard if I visit, and she may say, "No more, Orchard!" to me, thinking I am such an imposter as she intimated a few days ago.

So the plan that I have devised is the following:

Step 1: Write the most beautiful song in the world about how I am the real Orchard and how I am not an imposter, but actually Kimmy's best friend

Step 2: Practice my singing voice until I have quite a rather pleasing tonal quality to my lullabies

Step 3: Take my new song and my practiced voice to Kimmy's place of residence.

Step 4: Throw pennies at Kimmy's window, on account of their not being so big as to destroy the window, but being nice enough to make a little "tick tick" as they land on the window. I have also decided this would be a good deed of the night, as children might find the pennies in the morning and that might just make their day so that they say, "Hey! I have found a penny here on the pavement below this place of residence and it has just changed everything!"

Step 5: Sing my melodic song to Kimmy in the hopes that she will know only the real Orchard would sing like this to her.

Step 6: Have fun with Kimmy again as my best friend revisited.

So that is my plan, but I am still stuck on Step 1. I suppose if I am in a real pickle, I could always set my ostrich poem to music if need be, but then all my friendship and real-orchard-being tellings will have to be metaphoric instead of stated, but that is not such a bad thing. So that is my systematic blog entry of the day and it quite seems like I am an organized person with these 6 steps, so Monday has certainly shown me a thing or two!

Love,

Orch

(And I must say that I am so happy, as always, and appreciate so much, the love and support of my special blogger friends who are loyal and lovely, and give me kind words about Kimmy and my poem, like Mike and Alejo, Dreamwalker and Javafoofoo, Michael, and all the other ones who are supportive in spirit and eyes, which is just rather invaluable. And I would also like to welcome a one Marc who is just the sweetest guy, along with the other sweetest blog guy friends I have, but he is just shy to post on the public domain of orchard, but he posts things in a shower, where he appears to be best friends with "celebs" as they are known to be called. And yet even so, he seems like he might become friends with a one Justin, who has a tone which is not too dissimilar from Marc's, but really not the same--which just proves that is the wonder of life and Monday!)

Day 54: My encounter with Kimmy and how now I just use the Gazelle eliptical again

2005-03-18T14:38:00.000-05:00

So, yesterday, I decided to paint my ostrich paper mache gift for Kimmy green in honor of St. Patrick's Day, but I did not have any paint or crepe paper as tends to be what people use to make the newspaper of a paper mache look like it is not simply newspaper. Well, I have always been one to make do with what I have, and today was no exception. So I just used a marker that was green and colored it to the best of my ability. The marker happened to run out part way through my coloring, so then I finished up by gluing some bits of grass that had returned to the world from under its snow blanket. The grass was more brown than green, but I supposed that was alright.

Then today, I sat out by Kimmy's residence once more, waiting to see her enter or leave her place of living, and I got to thinking about quite a bit. I got to thinking about my long lost love that I saw at the Shell Station and who lives in Australia now, and I got to wondering if a girl like I would ever really find true love if she can't find a friendship that doesn't have such problems, such as not being able to contact one's friend.

Well, just then, in the middle of this thought, Kimmy, came out of her residence, and I saw that as not a bad sign, and that maybe meant that I would be able to contact my long lost love at some point again, who has never truly left my heart entirely. Kimmy saw me and did not run to her car this time, but stood and held up a bucket at me. I ran to her and tried to give her a hug, but she shoved the bucket at me and said, "Yours. You take." So I took the bucket and thanked her for returning it, as the last time that I saw Kimmy was when I showed her quite a fun game called "Bad Cow" where I filled that bucket with spoiled milk and dumped it on Kimmy and I thought it was so cute and funny the way she ran around just like the little animal she was pretending to be, and that's when she had to make me rush off, probably because she had to get to yoga class, and that's when it became difficult to contact her since then.

So Kimmy has always been a thoughtful girl and this was no different, as she was so sweet to think of returning the bucket. But she did not look as sweet as she has in the past, but I do not blame her for not looking sweet when she has probably been a little bit sick inside her residence all by herself without her friend, Orchard, to cheer her up.

After I thanked Kimmy, she went to her car and got in, and then said a sentence that was more English than I'd ever heard her say before and that sentence, which still cuts me to the bone and heart even now, one day after the fact--that sentence she said was this:

"Orchard--no more. Orchard no friend. No more. Good bye. No more. No more."

All the while she kept shaking her head and flailing her arms from inside her car. Well, I fear that she thought I was an imposter and that the real Orchard was somewhere else, so I yelled, "No, It's me, Kimmy! I'm Orchard--come to be your best friend again!" And I even threw the bucket in the air to show how excited I was, and it landed on her car, which was another sign we were meant to be best friends.

But Kimmy yelled, "No more! No more, Orchard! Go! Go!" And she tooted the horn on her car and looked at me with not a nice look at all, which I assume she meant for the imposter Orchard, not me, but of course, she did not realize I was not the imposter, but the real thing.

And then she drove off.

I decided not to follow her because she seemed upset, so instead, I picked up the bucket that she had returned and I got out the ostrich paper mache creation and I put it in the bucket along with my card that said, "I miss you, Kimmy. Please, let's hang out and be best friends again!" And then I placed the bucket with the green tap dancing ostrich by the trash dumpster outside of Kimmy's residence.

Because I do not know how to convince Kimmy I am the real Orchard, especially when she does not understand most of what I say anyway, and she just had such an angry look to her that it crushed my insides so I feel like quite a bit of tightness in my throat and chest.

But that is all not entirely a shock, as today is the day after St. Patrick's Day, when the calendar is at its lowest point, which is why there are no pictures or colorful words in my blog today, and being at the lowest point of the non-orthodox calendar is a thought which encourages me at least, so I guess there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

And now, after the encounter, I have simply played on my eliptical machine because there is really nothing else a girl like I can do when her best friend, Kimmy, tells her "No more, Orchard. No more," even if she thought she was talking to an imposter.

love,
or

Day 52: My tap dancing ostrich paper mache and also my poem about it and maybe Kimmy will like it

2005-03-16T15:42:00.000-05:00

Well, I don't have much to report yet about the status of my friendship which deserves to be renewed since yesterday, except that I am creating a piece of paper-mache pottery in the shape of an ostrich wearing just the cutest little top hat with maybe a feather or two in it, and I'm even going to give him little tap shoes that I will make out of rocks so that they will make a loud tappy-tappy when they are thumped on the ground. And with the ostrich mache, I intend to surprise Kimmy and give it to her so that our friendship will be good as new.

But when I was laying out the plans to my ostrich tap dance paper mache friendship-inducing gift, I suddenly got a poem in my head that I created out of my own mind and wanted to share it with you, because it is just the sort of thing that one shares with one's friends.

The ostrich wore tap shoes
And wanted to tap
But he only had one thing,
One thing on his back,
Which weighed him down,
And it made him frown,
And that thing on his back
Was sadness.

So he threw off that thing,
That thing on his back,
And flung it to the sky
Then he took a nap.
And when he awoke,
He knew he'd been poked
With a stick
Or a brick
And in lickity split,
He flew off!

Well, ostriches can't fly,
But this one--he tried,
And he made from the roof to the ground.
And under that ground,
Under his head he had found
That the sadness was buried below.

So he hooked up a hose
And aimed it first at his nose,
And when he was sure that it worked,
He set it upon that ground
Where he found
The sadness,
And he killed all that dirt!

That is the end of the poem that just came to me, and I think it is not such a horrible thing to be an ostrich now and then, especially if one is a proactive ostrich and tries to get rid of one's problems in a constructive manner, such as the one in my mind-poem did, even though it appears to be an open-ended question of whether the ostrich got back to tapping or not.

Well, I am wishing you all a happy March 16 which is one day before St. Patrick's Day, except I have a suspicion that it is already St. Patty's Day, as they say, in Dreamwalker's time, which will never grow old to me, even if I become 77 years of age one day in the distant future and must needs rest upon social security in the U S of A, if such a program exists, although with the rate at which people do not like President Bush's social security program or the current program, who can tell really one way or the other.

Love,
Orchard

Day 51: My Hello Kitty letters, my pride, and my one lost chance to see Kimmy...

2005-03-15T16:43:00.000-05:00

Sometimes we learn things from people giving us bits of their wisdom, sometimes we learn only when those bits of wisdom come into play, such as the street lady who threw her burger at me, and sometimes we learn a lesson only when something very serious and important happens to us, and then it is knowledge for which we have encountered by Life.

Well, the latter of those three options has occured to me today. It has been a very busy week or so since last I wrote, and, as some of you may have guessed, it has had a lot to do with my adventure of keeping the earth friendship with Kimmy that is rightfully mine, even though I have received new blogger-friendship such as Justin who Speaks on his blog, as he says, and FDV, who is really from Portugal.

And so I have been staking out space near Kimmy's place of residence in the hopes of finding her walking into or out of her living place and really just letting her know about our friendship and all. It has been a difficult process on my eyes as they tend to close from time to time and I really only saw Kimmy leaving the building one time and that is where my lesson was learned, which I illustrate below:

You see, I have written a great deal of notes on stationary that was 1) Hello Kitty 2) Winnie the Pooh 3) Butterflies and caterpillars 4) lined, college ruled and 5) unlined plain cream resume paper. I have left these notes on all the doors in the residence building, all the windows that I could make my way to, all of the cars in the area, and I have even made a few stand-type things on which to adhere my letters, so they serve as beautiful signs of our friendship.

My notes have caused quite a few head-turns from the other residents who live near Kimmy, and my pride in the letters cost me my one meeting with Kimmy and I shall never forget this. For one residence ripped out a note that I had taped to his card with gray electric tape, which is rather quite sturdy and sticky, much better than the ones I had taped to his car with scotch tape on previous hours, and he made his way over to me at quite a rapid pace and seemed to be hollering something, which was probably praise to my art work and generosity of spirit toward my friend, Kimmy. And this is when I felt a surge of pride in my letters and allowed the flattery that was to come blind me to realizing that Kimmy was walking out of the door and into her car!

Well, I never did get to even hear the praise from the man with the car, because I ran after Kimmy as fast as I could, but it was too late. She had pulled away and left. My pride and my desire to hear such a beautiful compliment to my work prevented me from achieving the very thing my work was about of which I was trying to find out about.

And now it seems that the residents of the area in which Kimmy lives are quite overwhelmed with my letters on the nice paper and it has been conveyed to me that I ought to quickly cease my lettering or they shall have to involve other authorities, which I encouraged these people to involve, as I would like to get an answer from someone about Kimmy, to which they responded that they were not amused with me. But I was not trying to be amusing, as this was rather a serious manner and it hurt me that they would even think I would be trying to amuse them at a grave time such as this.

So that is about where I am at. And my lesson of pride has been taught by Life herself, and I think I shall give up my letter-writing for a time just so that I can feel the effects of my prideful actions, and I shall try to touch base with Kimmy another way, even though she is just such a sweet girl and the sun is shining with the hopes of an answer soon to my friendship, but if I had to sum up my lesson into a nice neat little adage, it would be this:

"Do not allow your pride to blind you from seeing the thing around you which is what you are trying to figure out, for if you accept flattery on your actions, then it may blind you from seeing clearly the thing in which you are attempting to see, and then you could lose your one chance and maybe not even hear that flattery anyway, and then it was not only not worth it for the flattery, but you didn't even get the flattery either and so it really wasn't worth anything, so please, just stay away from that entirely."

Love,
Orchard P. Dirk

Day 44: The burger the street woman threw at me and how I still was not prepared for the lesson of life today

2005-03-08T14:48:00.000-05:00

A woman on the street in NYC who had a mcdonald's hamburger in her hand, once told me as I trotted by, "Don't get comfortable in life, because that's when everything changes!" And she even tossed her hamburger at me, as if to prove the point that I wasn't on my guard to block the hamburger, but I really rather just felt sorry that she had wasted such a nice sandwich, but apparently it wasn't much of a waste because she picked it right up from the ground and went back to eating it and doling out wisdom to other passersby as if nothing had happened.

But something had happened. And ever since then, I wondered when this piece of wisdom from the street lady would come into play in my life and it seems that day is today. Because it was today when I went to Kimmy's house to pick her up so we could go chalk paint grizzly bears on the sidewalk and make them have human characteristics like anger, giggling, snarling, narrowing eyes, being shocked and such, as we'd planned, that I recognized Kimmy was not in her place of residency. I waited upon her steps for quite some time to no avail, even through the rain, but when the snow storm started, I decided it was time to walk to another place, because I was not wearing gloves or a hat as it had appeard to be 40 degrees Farenheit earlier, but now it had gotten very cold in the 20s Farenheit again and very windy which made it colder as tends to be the effect one weatherman calls "wind chill."

So I made up many notes and used my gum to stick them to all of Kimmy's windows, as I had not brought tape, as I did not anticipate such a trying afternoon and an afternoon filled with needing tape, but that is just like the mcdonald's street lady had intimated to me even back then to be prepared. And so it appears that my friend, Kimmy, from a far off place called Taiwan, who does not speak too much English but only the nice words, has gone off to another place and decided she did not want to chalk paint grizzlies after all, even though people in the great state of New York tend to legally hunt brown or black bears with rifles, and they are coming more and more south is the word, but New Jersey had quite a problem of that years ago, but at least it is not the New Jersey Devil, is what I say.

Well, I have learned my lesson and I suppose it was the hard way, because I had rather gotten comfortable with my Kimmy friend. But Life has stirred the pot with me in it, and that is just something that doesn't stick until you experience it in life yourself, as tends to be what occured in my said life only today, which is really only half way done in my time, although Dreamwalker is probably on the 9th of March already, which is just too fast for me, although I did eat several peanut butter preztels at a speed of which I am not proud.

Love,

Orchard

Day 43: My freckle/moth/computer disk dream and really, what does it mean after all?

2005-03-07T17:40:00.000-05:00

Before I tell you the dream which I had in my brain last night, I must thank all of you who have come to alleviate my fears of hurting any of you because of my new best earth friend, and I just appreciate it more than you can probably even imagine because that is just the way a girl such as I is, and I wanted to let you know of such.

Well, it seems that it came to pass I had quite a dream last night and the quite a dream that I had seemed to be this:

I was peeling bananas and throwing the peels in a garbage disposal with my new best earth friend, Kimmy, who doesn't speak much English because I have learned in real life that she is from a very far off place that she likes to call "Taiwan." And for each banana peel we would throw into the disposal, a tiny moth would fly out and land on my nose and sometimes even bite my nose, and then when I went to look at my face in a mirror which was really just a reflection in a tv in the dream, it came to be that the moths had not only bitten my face, but each bite turned into a little freckle on my face, and I rather looked like I had been out in the sun, which is not the case in real life as it tends to be too cold for sun bathing still.

Well, then Kimmy did not have any freckles on her face because the moths only wished to land on my face, but she was laughing at me and pointing at me and saying, "Funny, funny, oh yes, quite funny!" which Kimmy has not yet said in real life, but I imagine it's a simple enough thing she might say soon if she thinks such a thought, which I'm not entirely sure she has yet, of me anyway, although she has said "Fun!" a few times in real life and those are times I treasure to a great deal (like the time on Saturday when I showed her how to microwave a bag of popcorn but leaving just a little bit of the bag open instead of entirely closed as they say to do, and watching the fun that ensues, as they say).

And then Kimmy and I took a purple yoga mat and bopped all of the moths with it and killed them, but my freckles still did not disappear and then the dead moths were actually little computer disks now, in my dream, and I was so happy to see them, when in real life I am not so happy or unhappy to see a computer disk. And Kimmy and I cradled the computer disks and drown them in milk, as though we were pleased to have a baby of our own, but it was only a computer disk, much as I just said a moment ago.

Well, that's about it. Except in the end, after we had made sure the computer disks had had enough milk, it developed that Kimmy was no longer Kimmy, but rather just some stranger that I didn't recognize at all, but that might have resembled a woman who asked me how to use a CoinStar at my local Stop and Shop and who was quite intrigued by my ease with utilizing the machine to make my change turn into a receipt which consequently became dollar bills and such, after a cashier had taken it and made it be money.

So this dream has rather stayed with me for most of the day thus far, and I do wonder what it might mean. I am not one to be the best intepreter of my own said dreams, but it still does not change the fact that it was 58 degrees F today which was rather quite nice because a girl can only ask for nice days now and then, and it is just the way life goes when that request is met, such as today in the great state of New York, US of A, even though I do not speak of said country's military actions.

Love,
Orchard

Day 39: Are you sad? Because I haven't really left you guys, best friend bloggers!

2005-03-03T14:31:00.000-05:00

Well, it seems that a girl like I has not posted anything new for five (5) days and it also appears that only Gabe and Johnnie Walker/3leggedlizard/Dreamwalker have commented on anything, and what they did appears to be about wild children which were quite nice comments and I welcome Gabe or Gabo to this wonderful world of the blogging industry. But it all leads me to believe that perhaps my tale of my new earth friend has left some of my blogger friends feeling a bit sad, perhaps a bit green, but I would not like to presume, and perhaps just a bit feeling worried that since I have found this new earth friend, perhaps I won't value my blogger friends as much, but I am here to tell you that is not the case at all, and that I still consider you all my best friends in the blog world which is the world that I have found to be quite supportive.

So I will be quite delicate in what I'm going to share today so as not to hurt the feelings of my best friend bloggers, who are just so sweet to say they will try my tonic water with sixteen (16) oranges squeezed in it like Rob the Webkahunah, and how you all just gave me encouragement that my party got unattended due to the "Nor'Easter," or whatever storm it was way back then five (5) or six (6) or maybe even ten (10) days ago.

So what I wanted to share with you was this: I have figured out that my new best friend earth friend has a name that is quite hard to pronounce or write out, so she has allowed me to call her Kimberly, which is quite unusual as Kimberlys tend to have red hair and freckles and my Kimberly has black hair and brown eyes, but such is life when it really just suprises you at all angles. Well, I have taken Kimberly to my residence to watch a movie that the dvd case called "Fargo" and we played a game that is called "Phase Ten," but Kimberly did not seem to do very many wise moves with her cards, so we took to just throwing the cards around the room and some even at the tv, and my bird tried to join in by sitting atop a card and nibbling at the sides and making a noise that can only be interpreted as, "That is quite nice that you have found a true earth friend, Orchard!" And it really is just the best when even your bird cockatiel supports you in your decisions that you have decided upon.

So we have done that activity as I named above, and we have also hopped along the white and yellow lines in the road, as well as trying to balance on garbage cans, and even visiting a factory that made colored crayons in a city that is not too far away from where I live, and other such activities as young people these days always find themselves partaking in. I have found that Kimberly likes to say rather the same things over and over and those things are either, "Yes, please, thank you" or "quite nice" or "oh, yes, yes, that is good" and so on and so forth. I do not mind this in general, but I am now getting the feeling that she really is not quite listening to me, and when a girl such as I has so many important things to share and tell the world, it can become a bit frustrating when that girl's best earth friend simply nods her head that does not have red hair on it, and affirms whatever that girl is saying, such as I.

And so I have tried to teach Kimberly to say other fun things, as Dreamwalker has even suggested, but it doesn't seem to take, as when I teach her these fun things to say, she still tends to nod her head a lot and smile and say things like, "Oh, yes, that is good" but I already know it is good and that is why I'm telling her. But it seems she'd rather just say it is good than say the thing which is good that is a quite fun thing to say.

But I am not giving up because she is the only earth friend that has the ability to spend time with me, and in a world that is just so topsy turvy as ours, it is not such a bad thing, even if that someone does not seem to hold much converstaion. But most of my other earth friends do not have phone numbers they feel like giving out, or do not like to say things in a quiet tone to me when I knock on their doors of their houses with my friendly greetings of friendship and joy. And Kimberly certainly always has something nice to say, such as Thank you, and Yes, but I just didn't want you all to feel bad or think I have abandonned you, and even if my adventures are not the same, I still miss you all and hope that we can watch a movie together and discuss, as tends to be what a few bloggers discussed back on another day, because if a girl can't make her best friend bloggers feel better and want to make comments and be at ease with her again, then how is that girl a best friend blogger afterall?

Love always and forever,
to my best friend bloggers who need not feel threatened that I have found an earth friend who shares my love of making toothpaste and styrofoam surfboards,

Orchard P. Dirk

Day 34: Wild children who don't want to leave the care of their animal-parents and how does that affect my search for friends?

2005-02-26T11:22:00.000-05:00

Well, as I woke up this morning and looked out at the snow on the ground that is all over the land of the town in which I live, and I remembered how Aswin and Rolandog and Dreamwalker and Alejo and Rob the Webkahunah and Javafoofoo and probably even more all seem to live in areas that do not receive that much of "the white stuff", as I tend to receive, which is rather quite an odd little fact, and then suddenly the snow reminded me of a baby polar bear, because it was a similar color to that of a polar bear, even though they say that a polar bear's skin or their hair at birth is black and later changes to that effect.

And I got to thinking about a thought such as this: do animals have a more fun time living in this earth than people do, and if they do, how can we tell that? And I thought, maybe some animals are more friendly because they travel in packs and protect each other, like wolves or dolphins or elephants, but then again, they also tend to kill each other, as well, just like some of we humans tend to do from time to time.

Then I turned to the web for my answer and happened upon just a fascinating little thing about what is known as "feral" children which are children that grow up in the love and care and feeding of animals, and the "how can we tell if they have a better time than humans" question was quite seeming to have found its answer. For as I looked at this site, I came to draw the conclusion that it appears the human children like living with the animals, and when human people steal the children from living with animals, the children either end up in a home for people who are not well, or they try to escape and also I noticed how they all liked to eat meat raw with their hands, but perhaps not smile quite so much.

And so maybe animals are quite the treat to have as friends after all, and perhaps I ought to take my bird a lot more seriously than I do, and maybe I shall draw him a picture of a feral child, and also give him some raw meat that he can eat with his wings if he wants to, as feral children tend to do, and then maybe I'll even give my new best earth friend some raw meat and she would probably say "Oh, yes, thank you, that is good" because that is what she seems to like to say, even though it appeared to be a hoax that a child was raised by a pouched animal called a "kangaroo."

Love,

Orchard

Days 31, 32: How I met a real earth friend when putting up my gazelle party signs all over the yoga studio

2005-02-24T18:49:00.000-05:00

Now I have lived on the earth a fair, but not too fair, number of years and one thing I have come to recognize as the truth of which it is, is this: if the earth stops you from having a party with your new best friends, it will throw you another little treat in the form of a new best friend just in the nick of time to encourage you on your route of finding earth friends, even though your blog friends are the most wonderful one could imagine in a blog friend. To illustrate this point, I will tell you the story of my day and that story is what I have written below.

So I decided to go back to the yoga studio today and deliver my new posters for my rescheduled party date, even though I have been hearing yet again about a snow storm which threatens the greater New York City area with 6-8 inches of "the white stuff", but Long Island and Northern New Jersey are expected to have more, and that is just the way those two areas are of which I am not a part. And I have learned in my travels around this earth that when Mother Nature decides to have a snow party, your own parties or even your own yoga studio visits may have to be subjegated to her whims of which she is allowed because she is Mother Nature and I am only a person here on earth who does not control weather, but does throw water around from time to time in the summer, and snow in the winter ,and leaves in the fall, and even dandelion heads in the spring, and that is something at least.

After I had hung all of the signs up all over the outside of the yoga studio while the staff were all on their lunch breaks, I at first felt a little sad that I could not get into the studio to post the signs, since they decided to lock the doors when they left, but then I thought that the little decorations of my party posters on the outside of the studio just looked rather so nice and festive, because I even taped birthday balloons to some of them, and drew pictures of lions chasing gazelles on other ones, that it would lift the spirits of any people who were grumbly about another snow storm so soon after the last one, and that is really just wonderful when a girl such as I can lift anyone's spirits at all.

So as I was clapping my hands together so as to indicate to myself that I was finished accomplishing a great task of which I was satisfied, another girl about my age approached me and spoke in the language of English, but spoke in a manner that I have grown to characterize as "broken," and the thing that she said to me was this: "Know time yoga is?" Well, I certainly did know because there was a schedule posted outside that I had covered up with my party signs, but that I had memorized first, and I told her that there was a Vinyasa class at 1:30pm, and that it was at the intermediate level and of the vigorous nature, as the schedule had led me to believe.

She seemed to like what I had told her because she kept nodding and smiling and saying, "Oh yes, thank you, that is wonderful, oh, yes, quite nice" and other such phrases that implied to me that she was quite willing to become my friend. So I got very giddy inside, like I was going to be performing a solo in a school chorus concert, and then I remembered Rolandog's words of how I was too eager and fast moving toward my new friends so as to scare them away from me, and so I did NOT ask her to come over to my house and make chocolate chip and banana pancakes with me as my best friend, even though that was what I wanted to do. But instead, I then spoke in a very very slow and quiet voice to her, and asked her to go have lunch with me before the Vinyasa Yoga class at 1:30, as there was just a darling little place quite nearby the studio.

Well, she just kept smiling and nodding and saying, "Oh yes, good, thank you" and so on, so I held onto her arm and led her to the darling little place and we had just the best time together as new best friends, even though she did not say much of anything but the words I've already expressed here that she said, and I really am thinking she did not learn much new English from me over our dinner, although I am sure she will soon learn all the important words as my new best friend, because after all, words are not so unimportant in a world such as one that has words on most things, and in the state of New York those words tend to be in the language of English, of which my best earth friend only has the broken form of.

Love,

Orch

Days 29, 30: How the snow postponed my menu party for yoga friends

2005-02-22T14:21:00.000-05:00

See it tends to be the situation that if you just hold on to your good nature even in the face of trials, you just might find out that what you thought was a bad thing was just a good thing in disguise that maybe even protected your best friends, and things just always work out rather quite nicely.

So wouldn't you know it, but it happened to be the case that none of my best new yoga friends turned up to my party on Sunday night. I was quite disappointed at first because it occured that I had created the following menu:

1) a bowl of melted cheese with lots of pretzels in it
2) Kool-Aid that was blue and tasted like a blueberry that is sour and sweet also
3) Jalapeno Poppers from a box that said TGIF on the outside that I put in the oven
4) Applesauce that I made from apples I received from a Fruit of the Month club I purchased as a Christmas gift to myself
5) Tuna fish on top of crackers with also paprika and parsley sprinkled on top
6) White chocolate candy that I had melted and shaped into little yoga mats
7) Hamburger Helper, "four cheese"
8) Asparagus with bacon wrapped around it and cooked a little bit in the oven
9) Tonic water with sixteen oranges squeezed into it

Well, so it appears that most of these food items were not able to be scarfed down by my friends because they were not there in my residence in order to scarf them down and tell me how they wanted to go ice skating with me and be my best friend. I tried not to be sad, but to be strong and so I remained in decent spirits, and then around 10pm my time, I turned on the television set and noticed that there were many winter storm warnings for the NYC/CT/Westchester/Rockland etc. areas, and then I knew that my friends were only being cautious because the weather was so bad, and who can blame a best friend yoga partner if she or he just wants to be safe on the roadways and not slide around a lot?

So now I wish to reschedule my event, but since none of my best friends would give me their numbers, and none of them called me because they were probably too embarrassed to admit they were scared of the "Winter Storm Warning," I do not have a perfect way to get ahold of them, even though I was prepared to laugh and host, as Rolandog suggested. But as Rob the Webkahunah said, I should probably just go back there anyway and meet more friends, and it looks like I'll have to in order to find my old friends. So yesterday I spent most of the day holed up in my residence as we had gotten a bit of snow on top of us here in the eastern part of New York State, but I made good use of my time and made fliers for my new party which I will take to the yoga studio and distribute on a daily basis from now until this upcoming Sunday when I am planning my new party where I shall serve the preztels in the cheese soup again.

And it is not that adventurous of a blog "post" because it is more about what didn't happen, and those sorts of things can only compare to other things that didn't happen, of which I have no others to share right now, but I always love your support, and just really hope that none of my best earth yoga friends got in car accidents because of the bad roads driving to see me on Sunday night, so I really just hope they stayed put, and are ready to see me again, now that the sun is shining and the temperature is in the 40s which is in Farenheit which is what the US of A uses as a system of measurement for the temperature, but Celcius/Centagrade is just a great thing that we all use in the Scientific community no matter what.

Love,
Orchard

Day 28: The bee craft, Yoga and my best friend Teacher who is just a doll

2005-02-20T13:24:00.000-05:00

Well, I am just as excited as a little bumble bee that has made the queen happy by finding her the perfect honey stolen from the perfect flower that he has actually helped to procreate!

You see, I went to the yoga class yesterday, as I had told you that I was intending to do, in order to make new friends and maybe even teach the class if they told me how and this is how that experience that I had yesterday in that yoga class came to occur:

I arrived and I paid $21.20 including tax for one lesson in yoga called Kripalu which apparently means that it will be gentle and encouraging for all levels, and I have to say that that was not entirely not what it happened to be, so I wasn't disappointed. Well, I thought $21.20 including tax was more money that I had originally hoped to pay, but since you cannot put a price on friendship, I did not argue, but instead, paid it and went and took my shoes and socks off and placed them on the mat of my neighbor, so as to insinuate I would like to become her best friend. Well, this girl was not meant to be my friend, as sometimes happens and that is just the way of the world, because some folks such as she just don't appreciate a kind gesture even when she removes my socks and shoes and even when I place them back on her mat a few more times to show my love of friendship.

But I rented a mat and a few square purple objects they called blocks, and a few other things they called "props" so as to be proper, or so as to use them to help facilitate other actions of which yoga has been known to be a part of. So after the girl next to me rejected my friendship, I did not allow myself to be sad, but I remained hopeful as tends to be the case with me when I have my heart set on a goal, and I am so glad that I did, because things have turned out to be quite hopeful for me afterall!

I participated in the actions of yoga called poses or positions or postures or something to that effect, and I made careful to smile widely at everyone around me and I even moved my mat around to a few different spots so I could smile widely at others from different angles. Well, the instructor seemed to notice and asked if I needed something or was uncomfortable with the sunlight from my original spot, and I just smiled widely and I said, "Does a girl need a reason to find more friends?" Well, I should think all sensible people would know that a girl doesn't need a reason, and she seemed to have that good sense, so she let me continue in my practice of the yoga called Kripalu.

So after we had all rested on the floor with bags of tea on our eyes except those who felt uncomfortable putting tea bags on their eyes that other previous students had also done the same thing with, the class seemed to end because the teacher said a foreign secret yoga language word that sounded like, "Nah-Mah-Stay", and so I stood up very quickly and said in a very loud clear voice that I had an announcement, and then I proceeded the speech below which I had rehearsed several times earlier in the day:

"I would like to invite all of you, my new best yoga earth friends, over to the place where I reside on Sunday night, at 8pm, to have dinner and dancing and watch thearts and crafts, so everyone bring your favorite colored pom pom or pipe cleaner and you will learn how to make just the cutest little ant you have ever seen!"

And then I gave everyone a little flier that I had made up on my computer which had my address and phone number on it, and I made sure that even those who were too shy to take it from me, got it anyway, because when I went out to the bathroom in the middle of the class, I put one in everyone's bags or socks or other such items that I could put it into and that will be quite a treat for those shy people to find later.

After I was finished handing out the fliers, the instructor asked me a few questions, which was just so sweet of her, because she really is just a doll, and I told her that, then I told her I'd be thrilled to teach a few classes so I could make more earth friends, but she didn't seem to think I had understood any of the poses yet, and she also said they were not in the market for new teachers. But then I told her that I had heard from a lady who was by the tea urn before class that she WAS in the market for new teachers as one old teacher was leaving for Australia, and I told her that I just really hope she stops by to see Dreamwalker in New Zealand. Then the very cute doll instructor just smiled and put her arm around me, which was the sweetest thing I'd ever felt in a long while, and led me out of the room, and said that I had better get on home and she wished me good luck, which I also thought was just so sweet.

So I am really quite pleased with myself for taking the yoga class yesterday because it seems now that I will have all my new friends come over for dinner tonight and I will also get a job teaching Kripalu at the nice yoga studio where I met my best friend teacher who put her arm around me in a kind sisterly way. So that is why I am just so excited about my night tonight, and I think that I shall change the craft to be a bumblebee instead of an ant, because the bumblebee really does show forth the kind of energy and happiness I feel today, as I said before, and an ant just rather likes to walk on picnic food and go into the garbage which is something I'd rather not encourage now that I practice the fine martial art of Kripalu, Yoga, US of A.

Love always,

Orchard

Days 25, 26, 27: Adventure begins anew

2005-02-19T13:24:00.000-05:00

Well, as always I should say that life is just one thing led after another one of those things, and these past few days have been no different from that! But I am going to try an experiment of becoming an integral part of a yoga class because it seems that is just as popular as Pilates and I aim to come home with more friends than I could ever have imagined and maybe even teach a class or two if they tell me how and I learn it!

I will report back this weekend on my lovely sunny new adventures because I do just feel a whole bit of light has opened up after I let my Shell Love Man move away without me, because I really do think now that he was holding me back and a girl needs to not let a guy such as he hold her back if she has a mission which is as important as the one I have is, and so that is why I wanted to let you know because you are all so very sweet and I just am thrilled we can talk about movies and American soccer together even if some people might call it football which is just as nice..

Love,
Orchard/Orchid :)

Day 24: Time to leave my distractions behind and focus on finding earth friends again

2005-02-16T18:31:00.000-05:00

Well, it seems to be the situation that life has a way of catching up with you, even if you're trying to catch up with it because you never really know what way it's going until it comes to you, which is just one of those funny things about life, like how it can look like a hurricane is coming when the sun breaks through the cloud after a rain, but really it is just light and color and not a hurricane after all.

And so I am always allowing myself to be an example of life so that I can learn from it just like I did yesterday, and today is no exception because it appears afterall that perhaps my long lost love is just exactly that: long, lost, and love.

See, today when I opened up the internet, I read a little bit from an "archived", but not more than 1 week ago, article about a man from NewYork state who had decided to move to a country called Australia,which I'm sure some of you have heard of, especially Dreamwalker who lives in New Zealand, which apparently is not too dissimilar from the area Australia is situated in. Well, I only had to read the article one time to know that it was my long lost love from the Shell Gas station and as this life caught up to me, I had to ask myself the question: Do I want to move to Australia to follow my long lost love, or do I want to remain in the state of New York, even though I do not live in the city of New York, which doesn't know who is going to bid the highest on the west side property that the Jets want, and for which the mayor wants a stadium so the Olympic committee will be wooed by his little city?

And I decided to eat an orange with peanut butter because the citrus and cream mixed together, I have found, often clear up a head that is fogged with pressing or philosophical questions as I tend to have about my living and other such things. Sure enough, this time was no different and suddenly I remembered all of my best blogger friends that I will name right now because they deserve that special attention because that is also what my blog is about and I do care for them: Alejo, Rolandog, RdTurpin, Aswin, Rob the Webkahunah, Anonymous, Franklin, Mike, Michael, Admiral Sprot, Brickwall, JennyJ, Samicus, SueShi, Jazin and Jinny, Hector, João Lacerda, Dreamwalker, Esteban, Javafoofoo, Lolichi... and it came to pass that I realized my journey was only halfway even begun! I am searching to find friends in this world, and I have found a few valuable friends in the blog world who even share valentine's day poems with me that were shared with other best girl friends, as well, but I have not been able to get together with my best earth friends yet because none of them seems to allow me to know their names or where they live or their phone numbers, except my neighbors who cannot quite keep their address hidden from me, but even they try now and again, which could be quite frustrating for a girl who does not have sustinence in the blogger world, which luckily I have.

So it would not be a good thing for a girl like me to give up all of this because she wants to go to Australia to find her long lost love, even when she can't afford it anyway, so it's like I always say, "When life catches up with you it will ground you, but when you have been pushed to that ground, you must smell the earth and be reminded of why you are there in the first place, and that has to do with the earth and finding earth friends, and you must not abandon said issue because life has put a distraction in the way to test you, such as falling in love with a Shell Man." And I am really never one to argue with a good saying, so that is what I've come to realize.

But I do wish my Shell Love Man the best even if he was just a test that Life gave me and not my permanent love, because he is now going to the country where they have animals that have pouches and jump into the air high as can be, but do not live in the circus because that is just not the place for an animal who teaches you to not let life throw you distractions from your real goals, even though its babies do stay inside the pouch and grab on, but at least they are not born as eggs.

Love,

Orchard P Dirk,

Finder of Earth Friends who has NOT given up

Day 23: Digging a ditch by the road has taught me a valuable lesson about people's humanity as illustrated even by a little bird

2005-02-15T22:25:00.000-05:00

Well, it seems that sometimes when you just want to help out and just do the best you can for someone or some thing like society or a road or people, it appears that they might not always want that help, which has come to pass to be my lesson for today.

So as you might have guessed due to my first sentence, my ditch-digging plan to save the town met some obstacles today. I was pleased that yesterday all was well with my endeavors, but today a woman, whom I recognize as one of the folks who was not interested in purchasing a cookie from my bake sale to raise money for a PI, came out of her house and implied that I should not be helping society like this. Well, I explained my case and she seemed a bit confused, so I explained it again a few more times, but louder this time, and she just got a more confused and angry look on her face and became a bit insistent on getting off what she claimed was her property, but I pointed out to her that it was probably government property on account of its being so close to the public road of which I was saving.

But after a few more words were exchanged I came to remember something someone told me once which was this: "Some people just don't like to be helped." And I knew at that point this woman was one of those people. So I just shook my head at her and maybe even had a tear because I was quite sorry for a woman like she, then I took my snow shovel and I went across the street to save someone else from the rain on the road because afterall, sometimes it's just not worth it to do a good deed if someone is going to really not want that good deed to be performed upon them or the road near them.

Well, the woman turned out to be quite a bad seed, as apparently her ideas spread to a few other folks who, in turn, decided that I shouldn't help their society, and what can a girl do if she is only trying to save a society by digging a ditch by the side of the road to prevent puddles in the road which are dangerous, but then she's ganged up on by society to stop doing her good work?

Well, my thoughts turned to others who have also been told not to help for their good deeds, like Abraham Lincoln, and the list of these people is just as long as can be, and while I don't think of myself as noble as those who have gone before me, it does make me feel comforted in that fact, which keeps me upbeat and not discouraged because it really just seems that I keep learning lessons in life and I can't be upset my ditch was halted when I learn such a lesson about humanity. Because really, even an injured bird will complain if you try to fix his broken wing, but it is still best for him to get it fixed because if you don't, it will be quite sore and not heal properly, and then how could that poor little bird fly away from captors and also fly to his loved ones with worms that he would mush up in his mouth and spit out for them to eat up very hungrily?

Love,

Orch

Days 21, 22: Applebees, my new 4 friends, and the change of my life

2005-02-14T22:26:00.000-05:00

Well, it appears that the weekend was quite a climax of sorts, but it really was the case that I was quite sleeping a lot on the days of Saturday and Friday and this is just the mark when the body knows that it is going to have a climactic change such as I had, so as to store up enough energy to make it through, which is exactly what I did.

And so after I was done being tired on Saturday, I found that I had awoken up in my bed and there looking straight at me was the man that I have fallen in love with! He was smiling just the way I remember his bearing his teeth and just making me feel like a special girl to have someone like him who fills up his gas at the Shell Station in Watertown, MA, when I really didn't even know that Shell was such a popular gas station anymore, but apparently it is quite something else. I felt just so happy that he had finally found me, but of course, it was what I like to call a "dream of sorts" and so I woke up and really there was nothing staring at me other than my bird who is a cockatiel and I think he was more mad than glad because I had not fed him that day because I had slept and slept like no other.

So after I got up and fed my cockatiel whose name begins with the letter "D", I turned on the television set which I own and there is where my turn of events began, which is ironic because my adventure last weekend began outside and this time it began inside the residence in which I live. Well, the tv liked to tell me about a place called Applebees where they are all there to have a good time and give you nice grilled food and drinks that are like shakes with a little alcohol, but not enough to taste or feel in your body, but enough to make it worth a few extra dollars because of that alcohol that does not seem to be there much but that just tastes like a very nice chocolate and vanilla shake. And so I knew at that moment that Applebees was the place for me to go right then and there on the spot.

But it appears it was quite late at that moment, as it was more like 4am in my time, but I imagine it would not have been that late in Dreamwalker's time who lives in a country that is not even close to my time zone here in the Northeast of the US of A. So Sunday, I dashed to the Applebees that I had discovered was only about 5 miles from my residence, and I just knew things were going to be for the best.

When I arrived, after a man welcomed me, this same man asked me a question, who was called a "host", and the question he asked was this: "How many in your party?" And so I thought about it, and I decided I would like to have 10 in my party. And so it took him a moment to arrange the proper tables, and then he invited me over to wait for my friends. I ordered that drink that is like a milkshake, and then I saw a group of 4 interesting looking sorts of people enter the Applebees and so I ran to the Host and told him they were going to be in my party. Well, it seems they were not too interested in that idea, but the Host seemed to like the idea because he sort of smiled a smile that said, "I like that idea, Orchard," and I am never one to argue with that.

So he seated them near me, but not quite yet at my table, but close enough so that I was able to move my chair next to them and if I spoke in a rather high pitched, clear loud voice, I was sure that they would hear me. I struck up a few conversations about cooking, like Rob the Webkahunah and Rolandog suggested, and nice people in New Orleans like Javafoofoo told, me, but it wasn't until I talked about Gypsies as Alejo suggested that their attention was really peaked. At that point, they actually turned to look at me and see my face, which I thought was much more interesting than just their backs and backs of shirt collars. They seemed to ask me some very specific questions that proved they were listening to me, and it seemed they were quite intrigued with my ability to speak, as I could tell by the intensity and volume of their speech, and wondered why I was talking to them when they were so tempted to move seats away from me. Well, I accepted their unspoken challenge to peak their interest more, as I am not one to give up on challenges, so I started talking a lot faster so as to get more information in a shorter period of time, and I tried to quote all of the lovely marriage lines that Aswin gave me after my bake sale flopped, and I think that really got them because they just didn't know what to do with themselves, and got so excited with me that they were very adament about leaving the Applebees entirely.

Well, this was a nice turn of events, because it is not every day that a girl can make such great 4 friends as I made who are so inspired by one's words that they must go out to the world immediately and start making positive changes, which I'm sure is what my new friends were doing, and which is why I'm letting them have some peace to make their changes because maybe they were putting a stop of the poverty of children who do not have proper nutrition or exercise.

After my four friends left, the host did not seem to think he ought to sit anyone else near me and he also seemed to think that the manager agreed I should go out into the world, because I am sure that they also saw that spark in me at that moment and wanted to make sure I capitilized on that passion and that I did some good, instead of just sitting in the Applebees and drinking a shake and meeting friends. Because it is at that moment that I learned I must do good in the world like my new four friends from the Applebees, even if I just start at home.

So I thought a lot on Sunday about what good I should do, and it wasn't until today, Monday, when I put all that thinking into practice and so what I did to change the world was that, even on this Valentine's Day, when I should be with my Shell Love Man, I put that aside to start digging a little ditch near the side of the road in the town in which I reside, because it seems that when it snows and rains that the water likes to puddle up the road, but if it had a nice ditch next to it, it would just run out of the way and not cause cars any harm, which is really the good deed at the local level that I had thought of on Sunday.

So it has been long cold day, and digging the ditch with my snow shovel has not been as simple of a task as I had hoped. And I really do love my garbage men, but I had to make haste away from them when they arrived because they seemed to not think it was such a good idea for me to be digging as I was, but since no one else seemed to notice for the rest of the day, I think I've been a success, because it's as I like to always say, "If no one notices your good deed, then that really means it is good because the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing except when they need each other's cooperation to do that good because then they must know and work together in fact" which is like what happened with me and the shoveling.

And so that is where I am at right now with my life, and it may come as quite a shock to you that I have put this priority of helping the world above finding my long lost true love, but it is what I feel would be the best for me and the world right now and so that is why I have made this tremendous change in which my life just might take a very different turn from what I have experienced thus far, such as my needing all that sleep Friday and Saturday so indicated.

Love,
Orch

Day 20: Too tired to even talk about my long lost true love

2005-02-12T01:15:00.000-05:00

Well, it appears that I am just so tired tonight that I quite don't have the eyesight or philosophical thoughts to provide my best friend bloggers with an interesting post. So I shall just say that I have left a more long comment on the Day 19 post after such lovely comments from Rob the Webkahunah, Rolandog and Brick Wall, whom it is good to see back, but I am just so tired that I'm afraid I will have to tell my experiences at a time when my eyelids are just a bit stronger.

love,
orchard p dirk

Day 19: My mushed up cookies and will Google save me?

2005-02-10T19:53:00.000-05:00

Well, it seems that sometimes the things that I imagine are the best ideas that I have turn out to be the ideas that are, in fact, not as good as I had originally anticipated in thinking those ideas that I have acquired. And so it brings me to tell you about my adventure of today, even though I am just feeling like even my blog won't make me feel better about this, although the kind words of my best friend bloggers always pick me up when I read them.

Well, it appears Aswin may have been onto something, because my cookies did NOT keep very well outside last night as it appears that this part of New York of America experienced a great deal of what I like to call "pounding rain," but at least it wasn't snow as some parts got, but that rain had the inkling of making my cookies change in consistency and appearance, even though these are two strong qualities in a cooking endeavor that one has used to cook. However, the good news that made me feel special was that I saw the garbage man this morning pick up a cookie and place it to his nose, as though savoring the savory smell of the peanut butter mint cookie.

But this happy moment was not enough to last me all day, as I felt just rather discouraged that I had lost all of my cookies in this horrible rain storm that seems was only sent here just to torment my scheme of finding my long lost love whom I am growing ever more attached to as each day progresses as the world turns on its axis.

And so now I am wondering if I should do a "Google AdSens" plan on my blog, where I would receive a small amount of pennies for each "click" that someone puts on the ads for a certain period of time or some such business or other. Because I put quite a lot of effort into making those cookies and they really only got me 10 cents after all, and one nice smile from the garbage man sniff, so it's moments like these that it just makes me ask the real philosophical questions that I always tend to ask, like, "Is putting a business such as Google AdSens on my blog the kind of thing that will help in the long run for finding my long lost love or hinder in getting me friends?" and other thoughts like, "Is advertising in this day and age a thing that is beneficial to society or a nuisance that is just quite not what we should be viewing every other moment that we have our eyes open and looking at items?"

And I'm afraid I don't have the answers, and I'm not even quite sure that my blog is full of my normal energy and zeal which I've come to love expressing to all my best blogger friends, but can a girl be blamed for this, if she is really just trying to find her long lost love against all odds where even her blogger friends doubt her lover's true love, and even her townspeople will not support in aiding her to find help for finding her long lost love, and is Google really the only one who actually cares about true love in this day and age of 2005, USA?

Well, there is not much more that I can say today because I am just so tuckered out from cleaning up all those cookies that were mushed in the yard, and that blew into my neighbor's yard, as he was not too pleased that I used his newspapers yesterday to make my sign of plea for assistance, but I really just think he should take his newspapers off his lawn if he doesn't want them to be used by the public society or for advertising cookies. And when a girl has been wet to the bone with rain and had such events occur as I have had, one can only expect such from her on Day 19 of her search to find friends.

Love,

Orch

Day 18: My Feb bake sale to get money for a Private Investigator

2005-02-09T19:40:00.000-05:00

Dear My Blogger Friends who are so encouraging,

Well, today it appears, my sadness is not as strong, as tends to be the case with me when one day ends and a new begins anew with the dawn of another day. So on this day of today, I remain hopeful because I am going to try to earn enough money for someone who is called an "investigator," as my new blog friend, Mike, suggested to me, because it appears an investigator to find one's boyfriend whom one doesn't know the name of, is not such a cheap ordeal, nor do they appear to do it for free, even if the consulation is free because they wish to reunite long lost loved ones.

So after I learned about the private investigator and obtained a bit of information that I do not think is necessary to put in the public domain of my blog, I started baking as many delicious treats as I could put my hands on, such as: brownies, peppermint cookies filled with cream cheese, and lemon cookies. Well, it then suddenly came to pass that I had run out of sugar, so I substituted a bag of leftover Christmas candy canes instead of the sugar, after I had smashed them up with a hammer, as I figured that sugar comes from cane anyway, and it was certainly sweet enough.

So then with the cane sugar, I baked peanut butter cookies and molassas cookies. Then I picked up a very sturdy card table that only had one wobbly leg, which I use for such things as I tend to use, and I put on it a very beautiful old curtain that had pictures of baby trolls on it, and I set this outside of my residence. I then displayed all of my wonderful creations of which I was proud because I had worked for many hours in the place that I used to call the kitchen, but now call that "kitchart" in honor of one of my old friend bloggers, Alejo.

And this is where my joy for making money turned to become a little bit of frustration, as tends to be the emotion that occurs when I hit stumbling blocks that simply have no meaning and are there just to make me frustrated even though a girl such as I is usually just so calm. Well, it came to pass that no one was interested in purchasing my bake sale items for the private investigator. It was dark in the town in which I live, and while it was probably 35-40 degrees F because it has been a warm day, it still seemed as though no one wanted to make the effort to come and help out a girl such as I who really only wants to be reunited with her long lost loved one.

But then as I threw up a peppermint molassas cookie at a street sign, so as to release some of my frustration in a healthy manner, I had the nice idea to make signs myself, and so I took some old newspapers that were thrown about in my neighbor's yard and I ripped them up and used a very black "permanent" marker, as they are known to be called, and I wrote in very large letters: "BUY BAKED GOODS TO GET ME MY LONG LOST LOVED ONE TODAY!"

After a few minutes or so, it seemed not everyone could see this sign from where they were positioned inside their big homes, so I took the sign around with me to each door that I could find and I spoke only the words on the sign in a very loud clear voice, that really took a lot of my energy, and kindly held it up for them to see. Well, it seemed that most people were in the middle of their dinners and were not quite ready to have a dessert, but when I was persistent with a woman who was not quite a spring-chicken, she finally did give me a dime and so I returned to my card table, and brought her back a peanut butter cookie, because I thought that was really the only kind of cookie a lady like her ought to be seen eating.

Well, it is now getting later and I have decided to close up shop for the night, but the thing which keeps my spirits high is that I know that if I leave the baked goods outside tonight, the cold night-time air will probably keep them fresh until morning, and afterall, it's like I always say, "Tomorrow is another day filled with hopes and new thoughts and also time to go back to old thoughts and activities and finish what you started the previous day." Which, in my case, is the sale of my baked goods so that I can afford to hire a "PI" so that I might be reunited with my long lost loved one that I saw at the Shell Gas station way back on the day called Sunday, February, 2005, in which the days of the week and numbers will be the same in March because February has exactly 4 weeks.

Love,
Orch

Day 17: Love for Shell man, but sadness for Down-with-Love-ers

2005-02-08T13:11:00.000-05:00

Well, it seems that it's now the afternoon on Tuesday, February 8, and I still have not heard from the man that I am in love with, and whom I think loves me just as much. If I knew his name, that would help me find him, I believe, because even though I memorized his license plate, it appears to be some information that my local police department did not want to give me, even though I explained how we had shared a moment at the Shell Gas Station in Waterown, MA and now I am muchly in love with him. But some people are just "down with love" as they say, and for those people, I must admit that I am quite sad.

So today, I am mourning not only for myself and my new boyfriend whom I cannot find, but I am also mourning for those who are "down with love", like that lovely little movie with the blonde actress who has played many things and is willing to change her physical appearance for parts, and the man who is quite cute with his accent and lovely smile where he shows his teeth that are little pieces of pearls.

And as Valentine's Day approaches fast, it causes me to ponder other questions, such as, Can we be happy in life without falling in love, and if we fall in love but do not see that person we are in love with, will that make us happier than before when we were really just looking for earth friends but were just so happy to have found blogger friends that call us Orchid, as a pet name, because it is an expensive flower that is prized, even on Sex and the City?

And I must say I do not know all of these answers, but I do know this: A girl has feelings and once those feelings are there, it appears they are real, or is it possible for them not to be real at all, but merely feelings of something that is not real?

Well, this is all very well and good, but it does not change the fact that I still mourn for those who do not support love, because that is really a basic need that we humans and similar species have, because even my bird who is a cockatiel gets lonely and runs over to me in his cage when I return to him after a night in a town called Watertown, MA, where I met my love who has made me think of these questions that I ponder.

Love,
And today, in honor of those who do not think love is important, much like the person at the police station who seemed to think he should not support my finding my love with a license plate,
Orch

Days 15, 16: Boston's earth friends then my big surprise at the Shell Gas Station

2005-02-07T13:13:00.000-05:00

Well, it appears, as always, that just when you think you have everything under control and figured out into a perfect neat box, Life throws you something that some people call a "curveball" which tells you, in fact, you don't have it figured out at all and there are still new feelings to be had. And so, I will tell you the tale of my adventure in Boston where I learned a great lesson of things I did not know before that I intend to call Lesson A.

I left on Saturday afternoon in a car that I drive and took some highways that are 95 and 91 and 90 and they were all going North or East, because that is the direction in which Boston is located in relation to the place where I reside. And my eyes were doing their hard work by scanning all of the other vehicles that were also driving, as I was looking for the black SUV that the two people in Stop and Shop owned who were also going to the party I was trying to go to.

Well, as fate would have it, I seemed to get off at an exit in the area which is Boston without having seen the black SUV, and with my eyes being tired from all of their hard scanning, and in need of gasoline. I came to a gas station that is Shell, and I asked the waiter pumping my gas where a snow football game might be going on that all my new earth friends might be at. He seemed to not know, but he did say that people used school fields to play games on the weekends that are Saturday and Sunday, and since this was already Saturday, I decided to check one out in the place of Watertown, MA, which is where the Shell Station was, and which is apparently sort of Boston anyway.

I thought the Shell waiter was just so helpful that maybe he would have a spare room for me that night to sleep in, but it seems he did not, and no one else on the street near the Shell station seemed to have one either, so I decided to drive until I found a school field, and then take a little nap in my car that was full of gasoline and blankets now anyway. Well! The next morning, which was Sunday, I woke up by hearing the sound of people walking and talking and having fun being friends with each other!

I ran out of the car and saw all of my new earth friends (except the two girls at the Stop and Shop, who did not seem to quite be there, and so I do hope that they are alright) and told them I was ready for the party and to play snow-football because I used my money which I had put in my orange Clown bank to buy a pair of snowpants which would protect me from the wet snow below. They were so happy to see me that they all laughed with each other, so I did, as well, because I was just so joyous to have found them all at last, even if they did not seem to think a friend like I ought to share in the business of knowing their names, even when I asked.

So then they threw around a ball which is a football in America, and split us into teams, and it seems they wanted me to stand away from them and be the referee, because this was an important post. It was really a great time because they always laughed with each other when they looked at me on the side taking my notes for referee responsibilities, and it was just so great that a girl like I had finally found my true earth friends playing snow football in Watertown, MA.

But then I started to feel my feet were getting frozen as I could not feel them anymore, and it had been a cold night, even with the heat on sometimes and blankets, so I had to leave the game to find somewhere warm. And THAT is where my real adventure came. Because while I was sad to leave my new earth friends, I had a feeling that something interesting was about to occur, and when I got back in my car and drove to that Shell Station again which has a bathroom that I could soak my feet in the sink of to warm them up, it appears I saw a man, who was quite handsome in my eyes, filling up his car with gasoline, much as I had done the night before. And it seems that man saw me, as well, as after I waved and said, "Hi, I'm Orchard!", he looked at me and sort of squinted his eyes, looked around, then turned away from me--shy that a girl was paying attention to him, and put the nozzle back in its place.

Well, he then seemed to get in his car, and I ran to the side and again, told him my name and that he could also call me Orchid, if he thought that were prettier, like some of my blogger friends do. He said a thing or two which I don't want to repeat in this blog because they are not words for all ages, but that, were, undoubtedly, said because he felt a strong attraction to me, then he put a single finger to the glass window. At first, I was a little bit hurt, then I realized he meant this gesture to be touching, but then he had to speed away very fast, because it seems he could not handle his feelings at that moment.

So now it appears that I am in love with this man at the Shell Gas Station in Watertown, MA, even though my feet are still a bit tingly from the cold. And it came to pass that I spent the rest of yesterday trying to find him, but I could not, so I have returned here to New York State, in the hopes that he will find me, which would be a romantic tale. Because it is quite a treat when you are just looking for friends and then you end up falling in love when you didn't even think that was what you were trying to do, and so that is why I say that Life threw me something of a curveball called Lesson A, even when the Patriots from areas like Boston, did end up winning the Superbowl, as they tend to like to do 3 times in 4 years.

Love,

Orchard

Day 14: I will go to Boston now.

2005-02-05T13:33:00.000-05:00

Well, I am pleased with the feedback and ideas you all have offered a girl like me in how to meet friends in bookstores better, and I plan to get right back on that horse but at a different book store other than Borders, although I appreciated Admiral Sprot's warm invitation which I might take him up on some day.

But for now, when I was in the Stop and Shop, where I buy my orange juice, I heard 2 nice looking young people talk about how they were going to a city that is Boston for this weekend, which has the superbowl enclosed in it, I decided that maybe I should follow them and head on up to Boston to hang out with them and play "snow football" with them, as they were talking to each other about doing exactly that.

So it is now apparent that I am going to get in a car and just drive on up there, and spend Saturday night and Sunday night in that city of great sports and culture, and try to find where that party is, because they didn't seem to want to tell me, and join them and have a really great time. So I probably won't be able to blog here until I get back on Monday, and I might have a lot of new earth friends when I return on Monday, but I promise I won't forget about all of my blogger friends, and I hope that you will have nice thoughts for me this weekend, as I try my adventure of new earth friends and superbowls in the city that is called Boston, US of A.

Love,
Orch

Day 13: My trip to Borders to find friends and how my seat got destroyed

2005-02-04T14:25:00.000-05:00

Well, I learned a very valuable lesson yesterday based on my blog post and that lesson that I learned is this: If you only put philosophical things in a post on a blog, people will be less inclined to read and comment than if you put on it action, unless they are French speaking from a country that is Canada, like my new friend, Esteban. And so now today, I will put my philosophical nature aside, in the hopes that you will read and post once more, but if you do not, I certainly understand that, as well, because we all must post comments only when we feel the timing is right, and that is something each and every blogger must respect and nurture.

So today I took the advice of a new friend blogger who is named Rob the Webkahunah and is in the tourism industry, so he has a great deal of experience in making and gaining friends that he wants to have. He suggested I go to the book store and meet a friend there and so I decided to go to a store that is called Borders, because they like to make their books have borders on them, and the name Barnes and Noble was already taken.

I walked inside and stood by the register for a moment, as I did not know what section would best find me the most friends, but a very kind man came to me and asked how he could help and so I told him what Rob the Webkahunah told me and he seemed to think I ought to try a section that he called "Self Help," although I did not see this written anywhere, but I could have missed it as my eyes don't always like to read signs and such.

Well, I made myself a very nice little seat out of some of the larger books, and just got comfortable, waiting for my new earth friends. It seems I waited a while when no one was there, and this enabled me to even make arm rests on my book seat, but then a woman with very nice looking heels came in and appeared to plunk herself down near the section which seemed to have a lot of books about how to get over your self-defeating habits. I thought this might be a nice way to start making her my friend, and so I asked what self-defeating habits she had. She didn't really answer me very well, and said something like, "Well, you know."

But I didn't know, and so I asked her again. She then shrugged and smiled at me and turned her back on me so that I could no longer see her face, but I could still see her pretty heels which looked like little red playground slides on her feet. So I left my cozy seat I'd made of the books and walked to face her face, and asked her again what self-defeating habits she had that she wanted help with, and that maybe we could become best friends and I could help her with that.

Well, it seems the lady was not in the mood to shop for friends along with her books, so she put the book down and said she had to go. I followed her out of that section because I thought she could maybe show me some more books that maybe could help me find closer friends, but she seemed to have to go somewhere only by herself without me, so I was told to let her go and then I walked back to my area.

But it seems when I got back to my book area, my little seat had been dismantled by someone who called himself an employee of the Borders. And so it came to be that I had a feeling that was not too dissimiliar from what I call "frustration", so I knew that it would not be right for me to take out this feeling like frustration onto any new friends that I might meet later in the day, so I understood that it was time to leave.

So now I am back to the place where I reside and I feel quite a little bit sad that the Borders employee took away my seat when I was only trying to be comfortable when I was on my lookout for new friends. So I think that finding friends in a bookstore is a very intelligent idea and I think I will try this again, but when I have no feelings of sorrow or something akin to frustration. However, for my first visit, I think that I have failed and I don't like to blame others, but I must say I feel the Borders employee who took away my book seat with the arm rests is partially to blame even if he offers gift wrapping as a free service that is complimentary to all.

Love,

Orch

Day 12: Does Green make us value life more, and thoughts on my best friend baby

2005-02-03T13:46:00.000-05:00

Well, today, my blog entry is going to be a quite philosophical one, because not as much action has occured today yet, but much thought has, and as much as I love the action that makes up my life, sometimes a little thought here and there is not such a bad thing.

I'd like to start this post with a quote from my friend, Alejo's blog: "Verde que te quiero verde. Verde viento. Verde ramas."

Now, I don't know Spanish; I only know a little bit of the language that is French, but sometimes French and Spanish have words that are called "cognates" and this means that they are sort of similar to each other, so I am guessing that the statement has something to do with how Green comes and Green remains. And if the Green represents Life, then it seems to be echoing the statement I always say, which is this, "If life has a lot of cultures and different people in it, then we should really value all those different cultures, because they will live on unless they all merge into one someday, but that will be a sad day because I really like to enjoy the differences in the world."

So all this thought has made me want to buy a plane ticket to see another part of the world and maybe therein lies my Green that will remain. But for now, I don't want to make another phone call to get a plane ticket, and I do not make such purchases online, nor do I have the money, so I will have to wait until my fate changes and my phone calls are productive again.

However, I appreciate all the nice thoughts from my new blogger female friends, called Jenny J who likes to post her own comment and SueShi (who calls me Orchid and I rather quite like that name too), and of course, my old blogger male friends, and all the anonymous ones too, who have encouraged me to also think through the best friend baby process. And that is indeed what I intend to do until I know that the baby's Green remains in the state in which I live that is the great Empire State of New York, who has changed its license plates over the past few years.

LOVE,

Orchard (or if you want to call me Orchid--that's pretty too)

Day 11: My new plan for a best friend and how the phone is getting in the way

2005-02-02T13:45:00.000-05:00

Well, I just read a very interesting article on another site by my new blogger friend, RdTurpin from the US. I was referred there by Rolandog, whom you all know by now, and the article was all about sex and abstinence, and it got me to thinking about this:

Will a girl who is just trying to have a journey of adventures and experiences, but who hasn't made too many earth friends, ever get married and have a kid that is from herself? Well, I could have thought about this for a while, but then I remembered how there are other countries in this world, and in those countries sometimes they have little babies and older children who just don't have homes, with names like Mirta, and I thought to myself, what a great idea to take one of those children who has no home and give him or her a home in the US where I live and have love, and have that child have a nice home and also be my best friend?

Well, I called up an agency, whose name they said not to use here in my blog, so I won't because I do want to protect their rights and not get them mad at me, but when I told them my plan, they seemed to think maybe I had the wrong motives for wanting to bring a child from a country like Guatemala maybe, over to a country like where I am. They asked me a lot of questions, and some questions even reminded me of the man at the DMV yesterday, and they weren't even sure I should come in for an appointment yet.

So now I'm supposed to think about it, and figure out if I have the finances to care for a new best friend baby from a country where the baby's parents don't want her or him, and also to see if I have a support network other than the blog world, because they did not seem to think the blog world would help babysit the best friend baby when I had to go out to do errands without the best friend, and so that is where we left it.

And now I'm beginning to wonder if using the phone to ask an important question is such a good idea. Because it's now been two days in a row when I've tried to really get to the bottom of something very important and instead have just been asked a lot of questions by a woman and man at the DMV, and now a woman at this agency that I will respect, but that I must admit does good work for other people who want to bring a new best friend baby into this country called the United States of America.

Love,
but a bit frustrated with the phone system,
Orchard

Day 10: My theory about the US proved by the DMV

2005-02-01T13:09:00.000-05:00

Well, it appears that when I woke up this morning, I looked at my blogs from my best friend bloggers, like rolandog, who is a dude who also documents his own weird journeys, and Aswin, who has his addiction to F1Time and Alejo who displays many thoughtful pictures and ideas about things in Spanish, and it got me to thinking about this:

Why are my best friends only bloggers who live in countries like Mexico and India? I have found great heart in these new ties, and I would not trade them in for the world, but at times, I wonder, why does no one in the US want to leave their real name? It seems that by chance I was born into the US and therefore it is easier to meet people who live in that same country that I was born into. And it also seems that they are the ones who do not want to give their private information so that I can become great friends with them.

I think it is because the United States of America, at times, might imply that privacy is more important than when a girl just wants to find a friend so she will just have a friend to hang out with.

So this morning, I called the DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles) in the county in which I reside, because when I got to thinking about it, I really didn't think the United States Government would hear all that I had to say and give me a quick response, because they really do try their best over there and have to work long hours away from their families that they have borne. But the DMV, I thought, might help because they are there to serve all of us in our own county and also our cars.

When I talked to the lady at the DMV and explained my dilemma of the privacy issue of the US, she seemed to not want to help me at first. So I had to call back a few times, and then after I started talking to her the fifth or sixth time, she seemed very concerned, which I thought was about time, and put me on hold. Then a man came on and liked to ask me questions like, "What are you getting at?" And "what is your question?" And "why are you calling the DMV?"

Well, this became a bit frustrating to me, because I had already explained all these answers in great detail to the lady and she finally had concern for my issue, and then I had to tell them all over to the man again and try to win him over to my problem. But I could tell he did not want to help me, and really it just made me sad because it was then that I knew my theories about the US and privacy and friends were right all along.

Love,
Orchard

Day 9: A friend in need

2005-01-31T21:03:00.000-05:00

I have always said that when a fellow blogger best friend is in need that I will come to the aid of that blogger friend and be there for him or her. It seems that time has come and I now will do what I can.

My blogger friend, Aswin, who lives in a country called India is addicted to something he calls Online F1 Management Game. It seems he needs some other F1 Gamers to help him out with a project that does not involve his asking gamers for money. So if any of my loyal blogger friends has the ability to help him out, please check out his great site and let him know because I'm sure he would appreciate it and he is just so sweet like my other blog friend, Alejo, who inspired me to eat chocolate with my neighbor.

So speaking of my neighbor, it appears that he just must have so much responsibility taking care of his cat and feeding him and changing his litter box, that it just doesn't look like he's going to have time to commit to a friendship with me. I am sure he is disappointed, but I slipped a note in his mailbox and just said, "I have always believed that taking care of an animal that is a pet holds great importance in the world and I admire your strength to sacrifice a friendship you want desperately in order to help out that cat of yours."

So it really does seem that my journey to find friends is making me much less selfish and that I am caring more and more about others, even though I didn't even expect that to happen. But it also is the case that I ran into a person that I knew 9 years ago and it comes to be that I didn't even know who he was. So I guess it's as someone who was a wise old lady used to always say, "There are two sides of every coin, and one will be dirty and one will be clean."

Love,
Orchard

Days 7, 8: My blog friend helps me find an earth friend

2005-01-30T21:14:00.000-05:00

Well, it's actually turned out to be quite a weekend even though when I got up yesterday morning, I thought it would just be another Saturday and then a Sunday for the next day. It seems that one of my best blogger friends has written a blog which is in the Spanish language and also in English with lots of pictures and interesting thoughts. He has called his blog, Bitácora de Sobremesas, which is a name that is not in English, but I am so happy that he visited my blog and said that he would like to link my blog to his.

Well, I was just touched by this lovely gesture of community that I was very inspired. So I went outside to my neighbor whose car and driveway I was shoveling during the dangerous New York snowstorm last week, and I knocked on his door and asked him to come and have an M*Azing crunch candy bar with me. He didn't say anything, so I explained that I saw this candy on a television show that is called The Apprentice, and that I got this candy bar in my stocking this year for Christmas, which I celebrate with stockings.

I asked if he was feeling better from his illness that made him shut the door on me earlier this week, and he said he felt he might be coming down with that same illness again. But before that illness took over him, I put my foot in the way of his door and said, "Milk chocolate with M & M's minis and crunchy chocolate candies." It turns out that my neighbor has a real penchant for chocolate, which is good for a neighbor like me to know, and he couldn't resist my offer, so he came over and we ate the candy bar together.

So now that I have found a best friend that is in the earth world, not only in the blog world, I feel very sure that I will have so many more exciting tales to tell you to help all the others find blog and earth friends. I might be busy doing items with my new friend all of the time, but I want you to know that I won't abandon my blogger friends. Because when I really get to thinking about it, this never would have happened if my blogger friend, Alejo, hadn't posted such a sweet post and made me feel that sense of community that got me to share my M*Azing bar from The Apprentice which now has another season on for college kids versus high school kids who are self-made.

Love,

Orchard (and my neighbor--who isn't here right now because he had to go change his cat's litter box yesterday, but I'm sure he will be back and will help me with ideas for my blog about me and him and my other friend adventures)

Day 6: Life and dice

2005-01-28T14:17:00.000-05:00

Well, when I ate my Cheerios and Life cereal this morning, I was reminded of that game Life and how I played it with myself when I was a child. I always wanted to be a doctor or a lawyer because they made a lot of money in the game, even though they may have had to invest a little of that money in college first. But I got to thinking how you got your career in Life by rolling the dice and I thought to myself this: Should I role dice to get my friends like how I got a career in the game of Life?

Well, it was a new thought for me, but I never like to dismiss any of my thoughts because what if that one thought I dismiss is the cure for cancer or the thought on how to end war? So I didn't dismiss this thought and instead started rolling a die in the place where I live. So as I was rolling, I saw I kept getting 4s and 1s and 3s and 2s and even some 5s and 6s. I thought this was a lot of coincidence, but I also thought maybe it was telling me I'd have between 1-6 new friends.

So I'm sharing this with you now because if you're one of my new 6 friends, maybe you should tell me, because if you don't, then I might think I misinterpreted my thought and it might mean I have to move to Atlantic City and play the dice there and that really would mean I wouldn't be able to blog because I don't know if I'd have to pay for the internet there or if they'd let me use it for free.

love,

Orchard P. Dirk

Day 5: In honor of those who don't have snow

2005-01-27T16:08:00.000-05:00

Well, it doesn't seem I'm depressed about no one writing on my blog, because it seems they did write, but just not when I thought they were going to. So I'm quite not depressed anymore, but the whole experience has given me insight into something very important. Today it seems that I'm thinking much more about other people than I am myself, which is often what I do when I am being selfless, which is much of the time, and my thoughts about other people today are this: I wonder how many other people are like me and trying to find friends like I am and making mistakes like I am?

I noticed a very insightful comment one of my best friend bloggers posted on my website. The blogger, Brick Wall, said, "Trying to be nice is good but sometimes it has its drawbacks."

That statement got me to thinking about all the other people in the world who don't even know what Pilates is or who maybe don't even have snow fall on their neighbors' cars, and I realized there are so many people far worse off than I. Because while I feel badly sometimes when even my best friends don't post and throw me into depression, there are probably people like me in Idaho or Australia that don't even know what a blog is and I really should be thinking of how to open the world up to them. So if you want to comment today about that, about how there are others like that--and maybe you know one and maybe you are one, well, this seems to be a good time to post those comments.

So today, instead of talking about my problems, I want to just say this to those people in places like Australia: There are a lot of people who want to be your friend, so don't dismay over not having snow, because you could just clean the bugs off of your neighbor's car and that is probably as good as snow anyway.

Love,
and in honor of those poor people who can't read my blog because they don't know how,

Orch

Day 4: Depressed because you guys won't write to me

2005-01-26T17:21:00.000-05:00

Well, it seems I don't have much to tell you today. I didn't call to be in the Pilates class yet because I got so excited that people were writing in on my blog. But it also seems that when I woke up this morning and ran to my blog, I realized no one had written anything new for me. That really threw me into quite a depression today and I'm not even going to make my writing be in different colors like I always do, because I just don't have the heart for it.

So while I was being depressed today, I didn't do much of anything but try out my new eliptical exercise machine. The machine was nice to try out, but it didn't feel like it was working me out in all the ways I needed and it's like I always say, If something isn't working out the way you wanted it to, why are you still doing it?

So I don't know how much more I'll work out on my Gazelle eliptical machine. But I do know that today has been a sad day for Orchard because while I really do want to make friends, maybe I'm just too emotionally sensitive to all this rejection when even my best blogger friends don't post a comment every day and leave me to work on my Gazelle which isn't even doing all the stuff I wanted it to.

I hope still love,
orchard

Day 3: My neighbor was sick and now on to Pilates!

2005-01-25T11:56:00.000-05:00

Well, as it turns out, my neighbor and I didn't watch The Nanny tv afterall. I asked him in a real nice sweet high pitched voice, as high as I could manage, but he must have been sick and had to rush to the bathroom because he closed the door on me really fast and didn't even have time to reschedule our plans.

So I think that I'll let that neighbor get over his illness before I invite him over to watch The Nanny again because really, when I get to thinking about it, I don't want to watch The Nanny with someone who is going to be sick and maybe even get me sick, because in the end, isn't health the most important thing?

So I was telling my problem to the man bagging my groceries at the Stop and Shop and he seemed to think it was a good idea for me to go to a class. He said people at classes were always looking to meet friends, and so now I think the most important thing for me to do is to go down to the YWCA and sign myself up for a class. I think it might be a class called, "Pilates" which looks like you should call it "pilots" and I did, but I guess that is just the funny way to pronounce it because the lady on the phone laughed when I said it that way. She called it like it was French or something and said, "Pah-LAH-tease". So I might pretend I'm French and call it that too when I call back to sign up for my new best friend class. But I really think saying it the French way is funnier than saying it the regular way.

love,
Orchard P. Dirk

Day 2: My plan to watch The Nanny with my neighbor

2005-01-24T13:08:00.000-05:00

So I got to thinking about my experience with my neighbor yesterday and the thought that I had was this: Maybe when I thought he was telling me to stop broom-shoveling his car, he really only said it because he had a hard time accepting something nice a neighbor did for him.
So now I've decided that he probably wants me to ask him to come over and watch a movie with me on tv. I think there will be reruns of The Nanny playing on some cable channel. I know it's not exactly a movie, but that Nanny sure is something else, and I'd like to share a laugh or two with my neighbor who is too scared to admit he wants a friend in me.

So that is my plan and I just wanted to share with all my loyal bloggers. I can see no one else has posted any comments on my blog. That's probably because you are all a little scared of letting a new friend into your life too, but I'm here to tell you you don't have to be. If you want to share something exciting or scary that happened when you were trying to find a new friend, or if you have any ideas of how I should deal with finding my new friends, feel free to share.

Okay, well, have a good day!

love,
Orchard P.

Day 1: A blog about finding friends

2005-01-23T20:09:00.000-05:00

Well, it seems when I woke up this morning, I realized a lot of people in this world have a lot of friends, but it also seems there are a few who don't as much. So my mind suddenly had an interesting idea to write a blog about those second people I've mentioned because they often don't get the kind of attention they deserve because they don't have their friends to give them that attention.

So I'm going to tell you about my own journey to find friends because I've noticed that people seem to get valuable things out of other people's life experiences, and since I always have experiences every day, I thought I'd share!

This is what happened to me today in my journey to find friends:

There is a big snow storm where I live in New York state and so I was shoveling a driveway. It wasn't my driveway because I don't have a driveway, but it was someone else's driveway. I thought I'd be nice and shovel it. I didn't have a real shovel, but I was using a broom, which I thought was pretty clever.

So I used the broom to shovel my neighbor's driveway, but then his neighbor yelled at me, "Hey, kid!" he shouted--but I am not really a kid. So he shouted this and then he told me to stop putting snow in his yard. I wasn't trying to, but I guess part of the snow on the broom was getting tossed into his yard because while snow is really heavy to shovel, sometimes it's light and flies away.

I was a bit discouraged after that because I thought maybe I would make a friend by broom shoveling someone's driveway, but I guess I was wrong. The neighbor whose driveway I was shoveling just looked out the window and said, "What are you doing?" When I said I was broom shoveling his driveway, he came out and grabbed my broom and said I was scratching his car.

So then I took the broom back into my house and stopped broom shoveling. The broom made a lot of puddles in my house, so then I had to wipe them up with a towel and I'll probably have to clean my broom too because what's the sense of using a dirty broom, but I'm really just happy that maybe I have a new friend who is my neighbor.

love,
Orchard